Best Jokes 2025

By no means. The ‘employee’ knows there is no boat number over 75. The ‘operator’, however, is a separate person and could easily be new to the job and so not yet aware of which is the highest-numbered boat.

[I do hope everyone else is getting as much entertainment out of this discussion as we are]

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Best thing posted on the whole forum for ages.

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It’s a joke! :joy:

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It was

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Starting to sound like the joke sequence between Geraldine & Alice at the end of each episode of ‘The Vicar of Dibley’……

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… let’s just hope that boat 11 stays upright.

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An antidote to po-faced wildlife TV programmes

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Amazing to get all three sub-species in one film, given they are so difficult to track. I hope they survive the January cull.

G

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These have equal length legs . The main species have different length legs Left and Right and can only go round a hill one way.

To catch them you chase them the other way then they fall down the hill and can be caught.

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From Pick of the Week on BBC R4, a round of ‘parking or bedroom’ from I’m sorry, I haven’t a clue.

This was a round where contestants were invited to provide phrases that might be heard while parking, or in the bedroom.

I will leave it to you to find them on Sounds etc… :slight_smile:

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Perhaps you didn’t realise, but sounds is inaccessible to anyone outside the UK. It’d be nice if you could share a few?

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for me it works though … I have the app.

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I didn’t realise.

Prudish perhaps but I didn’t repeat any phrases out of respect for our hosts.

Where’s Samantha when you need her. :laughing:

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“Samantha tells me she has to nip out to help an old man next door who has trouble using his stairlift. She goes in every night to put him on downstairs, and then pulls him off on the landing.”

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In her spare time, Samantha likes nothing more than to peruse old record shops. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section.

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Samantha has just started keeping bees, and already has three dozen or so. She says she’s got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. He’ll carefully take out her 38 bees… and soon have them flying round his head.

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Samantha is off on a dinner date with a gentleman friend from Moscow who’s brought over a variety of caviars and an array of vodka-based aperitiffs. She says he’s going to offer her delicious food in his hotel room and then liquour out on the balcony.

The beauty of the Samantha jokes is that they are totally clean when presented in writing.

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You mean… they’re not clean and innocent when spoken?