From the 6.30 on Radio 4 just now:
‘Tony Hawks starts our next round. Tony says he still gets two or three messages a week for the skateboarding superstar, Tony Hawk. Still, it’s better than the alternative… of no human contact at all!’
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Don’t encourage him
Ian
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Me too. You’re amongst friends!
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Well, I suppose somebody has to be……. 
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“How do you know you have finished your Physics Degree”???
“When there’s no light left at the end of the Tunnel”
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Judy married Ted, they had 13 children. Ted died of cancer.
She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children.
Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Judy remarried again, and this time, she & John had 5 more children.
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they are finally together.”
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret, “Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?”
Margaret replied, “I think he means her legs, Ethel”.
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Do you have a cat?
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What’s the best cheese to coax a bear out of the woods ?
Camembert cheese.
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Two men entered a chocolate store.
As they were busy looking, the first man stole 3 chocolate bars.
As they left the store, the first man said to the other: “Man, I’m the best thief, I just stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me! Bet you can’t beat that.”
The second man replied. “You want to see something better? Let’s go back into the shop and I’ll show you “real stealing.”
So they went to the counter and the second man said to the shopkeeper: “Do you want to see some magic?”
The shopkeeper replied, “Yes.”
He said, “Give me one chocolate bar.”
The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it.
He asked for a second bar, and ate that as well.
He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
The shopkeeper asked, “But where’s the magic?”
He replied replied, “Check in my friend’s pocket and you’ll find all three chocolate bars.”
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What’s the best cheese to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone.
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Two fish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says “How do you steer this thing?”
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Did you know that Yul Brynner was an avid Liverpool soccer fan who refused to wear aftershave throughout his life.
……that’s right, Yul never wore Cologne
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One day My mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little Tea Set as a get well gift and it was one of my favourite toys. Daddy was in the living room, engrossed in the evening news.when I brought him a little cup of tea which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mum came home.My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea because it was just the cutest thing!
My mum waited and sure enough,here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says “did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”
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