It’s obviously getting late in the North.
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No, I’m just an armchair critic.
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Not really, it’s only 4:30 in the afternoon…
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Sorry. North West, but don’t trust my geography it’s been wrong before. 
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A man wearing a skin suit walks into a fancy dress party with a woman on his back.
“What are you, then?”
“I’m a tortoise.”
“So who’s that on your back?”
“Michelle.”
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Some guy turned up outside my house last night playing a saxophone to lift our spirits. I asked him if he knew Baker Street? He said yes, so I told him to f*** off and play there then.
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Dandelion n Burdoch for the kids
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British people with no sense of taste can now get tested for covid on demand!
How are they going to test the entire population of Essex at the same time?
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Highbrow erudite stuff, Tony. I nearly laughed myself off my chair. 
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When I was a kid if I misbehaved my dad would threaten to knock me into next year.
I’m giving him a ring to see if the offer still stands
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I’ve been watching the Cricket for the last 4 days.
I’ve finally worked out how they do it.
They rub their legs togethor
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