Recently people have been comparing me with Albert Einstein.
This will only last until my barbers is reopened.
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Today a man was shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun
However, the police say he is now fully recovered.
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That’s very funny.
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The police also said they took a while to cotton on to him, but got him bang to rights.
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This joke is getting a bit tacky, if you catch my thread.
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The fabric of the joke obviously isn’t pulling the wool over your eyes 
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It’s obviously getting late in the North.
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No, I’m just an armchair critic.
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Not really, it’s only 4:30 in the afternoon…
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Sorry. North West, but don’t trust my geography it’s been wrong before. 
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A man wearing a skin suit walks into a fancy dress party with a woman on his back.
“What are you, then?”
“I’m a tortoise.”
“So who’s that on your back?”
“Michelle.”
15 Likes
Some guy turned up outside my house last night playing a saxophone to lift our spirits. I asked him if he knew Baker Street? He said yes, so I told him to f*** off and play there then.
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Dandelion n Burdoch for the kids
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British people with no sense of taste can now get tested for covid on demand!
How are they going to test the entire population of Essex at the same time?
14 Likes