Two statues, of a man and a woman, have been in the local park for longer than anyone can remember. One day they magically come to life. They look at each other, their eyes light up, and they dart into the nearest bushes. Much commotion ensues, finally subsiding after half an hour. They pause for breath.
“Let’s do it again, but this time … you know … reverse the roles … ?”
“What? You mean, you hold the pigeon, and I sh_t on it?”
“Innuendo? Isn’t that an Italian suppository?”
—my father-in-law
When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia…
It was like music to my arse.
Brilliant!
The Chief Executive of the NHS said she’s very concerned about over supply of Viagra. She went on to say that we just can’t go on prescribing it willy nilly.
Actually, it’s two: one to mix the cocktails and another to call the electrician.
There’s a nudist convention taking place next week. I might go if I’ve nothing on.
I would recommend doing it on Friday, as the weather man says on this day it’s going to be nice having it out.
