steve
5 Likes
I was sitting in my local pub doing the daily crossword when I got stuck on one particular clue…I kept saying it to myself…
“Shipwrecked on a desert island…”
“8 letters beginning with M…”
“8 letters beginning with M…”
“Shipwrecked on a desert island…”
“8 letters beginning with M…”
“Shipwrecked on a desert island…”
“8 letters beginning with M…”
“8 letters beginning with M…”
“Shipwrecked on a desert island…”
A Scottish guy at a nearby table, stood up and shouted out,
“Fur God’s Sake Man!, it’s Marooned!!!”
I said,…….
“That’s very kind of you, I’ll have a pint of Guinness!”
26 Likes
I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?"
She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.”
9 Likes
I met her husband Bert later at the same bus stop.
He had a terrible accident last year, lost his legs. I asked him ‘How’re you getting on?’
4 Likes
How do you ask the time from a man with no arms and no legs?
“Got the time on yer, c0ck?”
2 Likes
What does a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone’s relieved when the case is closed.
5 Likes
I like , 
Strawberry = Not a berry
Raspberry = Not berry
Loganberry = Not a berry
Blackberry = Not a berry
Banana = A berry
Tomato = A berry
3 Likes
There once was a musician from Rio
Seducing a dancer caleed Clio
As he slid off her panties
She said I want no Andantes
I like it Volante Con brio.
4 Likes
My wife suggested that as she made them herself, maybe we should put them on Etsy
