It would be such a nice change to have a few written jokes.
I just spent the last 2 hours getting my phone audio to connect to my car stereo.
The help desk advised me to change the name of my device so I chose titanic.
Its now syncing.
No highs, No lows. Must be Bose
I played my blues classics tape backwards
I got my dog back, my wife’s come home, I found my lost money, but I didn’t wake up this morning.
Sometimes it goes beyond a joke -
So what are all the opticians going to do for a living in the New Year when, for the first time, everyone will have 20/20 vision?
Thanks to a wit in Vilnius
I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: ‘Your patella measures 2.54cm’.
I said: ‘Inch-high knees?’
He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高’
See above. Already posted.
“The problem with lifting quotes off the Internet is that you never know if they’re genuine” – Abraham Lincoln.
Can you explain me ?
aloès (hello) > thym (time). 
I could not guess. Thanks.
It’s just a play on how we tend to say things in around about manner.
Ah you mean the flower pots …
Not a joke, but this really happened.
1999 Stereophile show in Chicago. I was working with Alan Yun of Silverline Audio who was introducing the new Sonata and Sonatina loudspeakers. Anyway, Alan is from Hong Kong and was speaking good but not perfect English. The new speakers were getting a lot of attention with many people coming back for second and third hearings. One guy noted that the sound was unfatiguable (sic). Well, Alan heard this differently.
Later, we were doing a demo and had about 20 people in the room. Alan is a great guy and VERY high energy. He was excitedly describing his speakers and, recalling what one individual noted, Alan excitedly stated that “the sound is unfuckable.”
Yep, that’s what he said. Several people in the demo started chuckling at his comment. After the demo, I told Alan what he had said, He was nonplussed and then ran out in the hallway finding people from the demo and apologizing for his misuse of the English language.