Friendships and the end of it

Mike if you lost them, they weren’t really friends anyway.

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I’d say some people have a few problems that they can’t cope with :grinning::grinning:, Rebecca is fine :+1:

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That would be awkward indeed.

Back to the wedding question, I suppose one has to decide whether to go, and if attending, apply a “detached witness” approach to proceedings.

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I think I’d give it a miss.

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I’ve been to a few dos involving old work colleagues. After a few beers I usually have a deja-vu WTF am I doing here moment and exit stage left :joy::joy::joy:

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Exactly. The more I learn of people the more I like my dog.

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I think that if one goes, one should put on a proper face and be gracious and wish them both well. One need not gush, nor linger longer than would be necessary to be polite, but anything less than being a gracious guest would be poor form indeed.

Can perhaps do what for some reason around these parts is called the “Irish exit” – just leave without saying goodbye.

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@ardbeg

I realize i come from a different geography and a different setting but there are some aspects to friendships that are universal and transcend boundaries.

I read your post and your comments about your friend.

But - thats 1 side of the story.

Maybe he saw it differently - at that time

The good thing is - both of you are in contact and there is a good occasion of his marriage

so i guess the thing to do ( if your heart tells you to ) is to go and ( politely ) have a beer and wish the couple well.

The past - is done and cant be changed ( cant undo anything )
The future - we dont know
The present - is here and now and largely in our hands.

Maybe someday both of you can have a chat over a few beers ( now that you know that a direct approach doesnt work with your friend - sometimes it better to skirt these topics till the other side raises it and wants to talk. ) and things will be better…

Remember this - even if you do go to the wedding and nothing happens after that to restore the friendship - atleast you tried…and can move on.

Smile now…

Cheers !

Best regards
mpw

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Nice words. :+1:

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Absolutely. Best smile, polished shoes. It is far bigger than my opinion.

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The loss of a long term friendship can be quite devastating. I know that grief from the loss of a partner or family member gets most sympathy, but the end of a long term friendship leaves scars. And the truth is that other friends or family do not seem to care as much, sympathetically, regarding the loss of a friendship vs romantic loss or death of a loved one. A friendship is made of many happy experiences together, and when circumstances change in the relationship of friends for the worse, it makes it harder to let go, due to the aforementioned shared good times. This can affect our judgement and can lead to things being said to one another that we may later regret. So Ardberg10 all the best. What you do comes from love.

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Honesty is good.

But that’s true on both sides, so friends may not agree with your assessments - and that’s ok, if you can accept that. If you insist on telling them that they’re wrong, then friendships will indeed end.

Friendships do come and go, and a few last - and those that do tend to have a few fundamental disagreements that people have let go of and moved on from. But if one or other side can’t move on, then the friendship ends.

I am intrigued by your comment of the ‘friends for fun’ comment - what are friends if not for fun (at least, some of the time) - it seems you might not be happy with people who don’t agree with your perceptions of their partners or who might disagree with you opinions…

I appreciate losing friendships can be hard, but as we age, most of those losses are mutual - we grow apart. If it’s not mutual and you are feeling the loss most directly, perhaps there is a cause that is closer to home than is comfortable. On the other hand, there are times when you finally realise that a friend actually wasn’t, and you move apart, grieving for what perhaps was, or what you thought it was, what you hoped it could have been and won’t be. Only you know which of these - two of a mutitude of possibilities - it is…

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