Ahh, a telefunken U47 with marital aids stuck all over it…
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I’m intrigued but you’ve rather lost me there 
Frank Zappa, an album called Joes Garage, it is a lyric. I was responding to the album cover you posted, it is very rude but also very funny, the machine described speaks German, as do all the best “appliances”
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Thanks - I was very late to the party when it came to Frank Zappa and thus far have only listened to a few albums I bought on iTunes. Must explore the larger back catalogue! 
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There are a number of factors which can cause gout - many going beyond the old wives tale of too much booze and rich food. I have suffered from Gout since my 30’s (62 now). I have always been someone with extremely healthy habits - plant based diet, exercise etc. Unfortunately my body on its own produces too much uric acid. Allopurinol for the past decade keeps things at bay.
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This is not a very funny thread.
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Gout has been traditionally been associated in the public mind with a dissipated lifestyle of consuming roast suckling pig, copious oysters and a couple of bottles of port a night. However most sufferers have a genetic predisposition to not be able to rid excess uric acid via their kidneys even if they walk the path of righteousness. Usually regular allopurinol controls it by getting the average uric acid level below 0.36.
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It’s that time of year again for me because eating asparagus brings it on. My doctor’s interpretation of blood tests led him to consider it a false gout but eventually he gave me the medication mentioned by @petermjames.
I still eat asparagus every day when it’s in season here in England but restrict alcohol to a four day weekend. And of course walking the dog loosens the joints as well.
Why do people laugh? Lack of appreciation of the pain is the only reason I can think of in this day and age. Open the port!
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Was he/she implying pseudogout which is caused by different crystal deposition?
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Also suffered from my 30s - runs in the family. As for Camphuw, asparagus is a particular cause. Unfortunately I am allergic to Allopurinol. So, for a really bad attack, I resort to Colchicine even though I consider it to be the spawn of Satan. Usually, if I catch it early, ibuprofen is sufficient.
When it is so painful that just a bedsheet leads to needing you to be scraped off the ceiling, it can lead to a slight sense of humour failure.
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I have all sympathy for gouge sufferers I have it, but don’t suffer.
I first encountered it on a trip to USA, a chopper ride to the bottom followed by a hike to the top of the Grand Canyon, that hurt. Next day an all day hike around Canyon de Chelly, that added to the hurt. Then walking end to end through Denver & Minneapolis airports followed by a week camping, walking, fishing & bear tracking in Minnesota woods & lakes. Absolutely fabulous fun, but a stubbed toe in the Grand Canyon meant 2 weeks of pain & then some. A check by a US doctor in Mpls said it was a bruised toe, yes it was blue & stayed that way for a good few months.
Anyhow long painful story later my own doctor said uric acids levels were way too high, and yes it had developed into good old fashioned gout. He gave me 12 mini pills that he warned were very powerful & never ever to be taken without supervision. That got the pain gone, uric acids remained high, but another tablet reduced it to a level the doc wanted, now 8 years later I take a daily (for life) tablet of Allopurinol together with a daily statin for artery decoking.
Getting old sucks.
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Febuxostat is another gout prevention medication if you can’t take allopurinol.
Gout increasingly affects younger people like never before. These days, it’s not uncommon for people in their early 20s to have spells of it.
I’ve had it about 7 or 8 times. My kidneys are in bad shape and my doctor is amazed when looking at my blood test results that I just don’t have it permanently.
Most people know that red meat and lobster are high in purines that lead to gout. But spinach, mushrooms, oats, cauliflower, dark fish, and yeast are all high in purines too. Dairy produce and fatty stuff is very low in purines. You can have what looks like a fairly healthy diet and land youself with it. Being overweight greatly increases your chances because not only does that strain the kidneys but the foods you’re likely to turn to get healthy push them over the edge.
My wife laughs too. Drives me nuts. Usually she comes right out with, “That’s what you get for being a fat b%%%%%d.”
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As a med student I was told that you can diagnose gout if people flinch as you reach out to the affected part, before you even get close.
This test never failed me!
As an addition to information about genetics, diet etc it is worth noting that cardiovascular risk factors such as raised cholesterol, BP and sugars tend to be associated with gout. So if you get gout, check those too; and not just if you are overweight etc.
In my experience dehydration is probably the commonest trigger in the susceptible, which is one reason for the association with alcohol. Also why people get it on holiday or after a flight.
Bruce
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Thank you. I will investigate - the doc did mention an alternative recently but I hadn’t got around to exploring it. TBH I already rattle with pills in the morning so I try to manage the gout on an as and when basis. Though bad attacks are still rare, they are becoming more vicious and longer lasting so I think I will have to do something.
This is very common in Asia as a result of eating insufficiently boiled konjak root. Imagine gout caused by crystals in joints all over your body.
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Avoid alcohol, game meat, organ meat such as liver, kidney. Main times for gout attacks in North America is summer bar-b-que rise in meat consumption, fall hunting season and Christmas with all the meat pies and alcohol. Some people are genetically pre-disposed; some may have some kidney issues clearing the offending chemical.
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We doctors love a spot diagnosis- an overweight bald man with tattoos entering the consulting room, limping, with a slipper on= gout every day
Another interesting fact about gout and it’s alleged relationship to port consumption- it’s nothing to do with alcohol - lead compounds were used to sweeten and preserve port when it was shipped from Portugal. Lead poisoning causes, amongst other things, renal failure which leads to hyperuricacaemia and gout.
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