Retirement, getting older and all that stuff!

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We actaully retired about 5 years ago - my wife and I are now 65. We moved from a rural location to where we are now which is a small bungalow in a pleasant city suburb. This mainly due to much easier access to all kinds of facilities and no longer having a car.

Since then we’ve taken steps to simplify our lives as much as possible and to concentrate on activities which we enjoy, listening to music and going for walks etc.

Heath wise I’ve switched to a much healthier diet and am now down to a healthy weight after having been considerably over weight a few years ago. I’ve never smoked and just before Christmas I gave up alcohol, having been at one point a 4 bottle a week wine drinker. I’ve also gone from around 6 or 7 cups of coffee per day to 3 cups of decaff per day.

Still, and not wanting to sound morbid, I find myself worrying about the future in terms of health, mobility, coping in general. Over the years I’ve seen what’s happened to older relatives and I’m now thinking that we’re approaching the time of life where the same could be just around the corner for us! What to do about it? Can one do anything about it?

How have others in a similar postion approached things? What contingency plans, if any, have you made for the future? Do you intend to or have you already moved to a more suitable property or location, eg. from an isolated location to one more urban or suburban, or from a house to a bungalow or flat. What, if any, lifestyle changes have you made? How do you spend your daily time? Have you taken steps to simplify your life in any way? Anything else you might like to share?

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Well thats a tough one. Recently we have seen loved ones pass away or having to be taken into care. They seemed to regret that they could no longer spend their money on holidays and other ways of enjoying their time.

So lessons learnt, we are giving our children money now…….so we can see them enjoy it. I have set up a share isa for each daughter which i have a direct debit each month to hopefully build up a nest egg. We are having a few holidays per year, and a special holiday next year for our 40 th wedding anniversary.

The house we are also spending on to make it more comfortable…….as they say you cannot take it with you.

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I’m quite a bit younger than you, but my dad is now making these kind of preparations being a widower and in his second half of his sixties. He’s signed a contract for a new house last week and he’ll move into the centre of town nearby us. Groceries are 200m away and the house has a bathroom on groundlevel as well as sufficient storage upstairs to keep the memorable stuff. What is most important is that he decided to move into a town where 3 of his kids live (me being the eldest) so that makes it easy for us to provide support if needed.

He has two right hands and likes to diy and there is an extensive list of activities waiting for him once he retires (he does not like / want to retire and is still working). We’ll keep him busy :slight_smile:

Oh, and I’ve given him some Naim which he enjoys.

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From recent experiences:

1- get Powers of Attorney in place if not already, and make sure these reflect the reality of life and what could happen e.g. having suitable ‘reserve’ parties

2- make sure locals know your circumstances and be brave enough to trust others with keys for urgent access, and make other trusted parties aware. In health at this age, time can be critical, and it’s not satisfactory (IMV) to just lean on the telephone as a conduit. An unanswered telephone can be a big warning sign.

3- moving to a home/area which is well/better-served is something which should be strongly considered IMV. But, it has to be a package decision, and given the costs of moving, I’d suggest that you only want to do it once – and beware those nice adverts offering bespoke housing for the retired cohort e.g. the costs of these ‘retirement properties’ can be very high, and exits problematic.

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I take it these days contributions are being recorded “ as a gift” and you are expecting to out live each by 7 years?

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Yes and yes.

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Wow we have been thinking along the same lines. My wife and I retired a little early, we moved out of the City of Toronto to the Niagara wine region. We believe it or not don’t drink as much wine now. Going for moderation and a healthier lifestyle maybe a bottle a week. We moved to a bungalow townhouse in an adult community. We thought it makes sense to move to a bungalow if we have mobility issues in the future. Moving does have its challenges as we had to find new doctors and dentists…

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Correct answers. Will be doing a similar thing myself shortly. I have no need for the 25% tax free lump sum from one of my DC pots, so will gift a chunk to each of my kids before the end of march.

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Good advice.

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Rather than take it easy it seems like I’ve done exactly the opposite. I retired about six years ago (although my firm still asks me to do the odd bit of consultancy work for them) and ended up spending around two years building a massive extension to our Barn conversion. On top of that my wife is pretty obsessed with travelling, so rarely a month goes by without her planning some weekend hop or a couple of weeks somewhere hot and exotic! I’ve tried to remain relatively active. Luckily I’ve been a keen windsurfer for close on forty years and still go out now in some reasonably wild conditions. My winter sailing has reduced a bit but once the sea and air temperatures are back into double figures I’ll be out there ripping it up with the youngsters!

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I believe that this is of really key importance. We don’t play any sports but we go for long walks whenever the weather permits. I’ve seen so many elderly people decline through lack of exercise such as for example taking a bus instead of say a half hour walk to a shopping centre. Of course if you can’t manage the walk then that’s fair enough but I think so many people just opt for the quickest/easiest option rather than the healthiest one.

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My previous working life put me in contact with many elderly who lived well (in the broadest sense) and many who did not. Of course chance plays its part and our circumstances are all different but here are my tips.

Use or lose it. Regular exercise of brain and body makes a huge difference. What you do for either may change but the message is to do both regularly.

Healthy habits should be just that; habits. Make them part of your routine, not special events.

Stay curious. Challenge yourself with learning new skills, making new social contacts and (hardest of all) trying to keep an open mind. Avoid social isolation.

Make smart decisions early about where you live; for example the suitability of your home as you age and the location of your support network. They are easier to make when problems are only on the horizon than when the ordure has already made contact with the ventilation system.

Carpe diem. Enjoy your health, relationships and your enthusiasms while you can. Relish life. You don’t have to go crazy and burn all your resources but waiting for some future date can bite you back.

There endeth the lesson !:grin: My own parents did none of these, indeed almost the opposites. I am sure that influences my views, but I’m not sure they are terribly radical ideas.

Bruce

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I think one of the most important things to consider before retiring is thinking What are you going to do with your time now your not working.

I retired in late October and had a plan to take a couple of classes for Photography and photoshop. But they had started in September so i had to wait till January to join. Also my wife was still working, son had just gone off to Uni. The autumn days were drawing in as well. So I was a bit lost and bored for a few months.

You also hear of family moving parents closer to them, I feel that could be big mistake as they will lose their circle of friends and become totally dependent on the kids, we have some friends who have been persuaded to do that and are regretting it now.

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Completely agree. One of the girls I windsurf with is 78 and still spends the winters in Spain sailing every day. When she talks about aging she says it’s all in the head!

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I have gotten old. 86 shortly. So I view you as youngsters.
Keep as active as you can but walking as snails overtake you can be intimidating.
At 86 you won’t have many friends left alive so learn to be independent.
If you are lucky enough to have a doctor,rather than a panel of six who seem often to medically disagree with each,keep that person close.
If you live on your own keep clean and tidy. Eat and drink well.
Drive legally as long as you honestly feel safe. It is a great independence boost.
Get angry and argumentative about poor service. It makes you think logically but be patient with the world.
I read a couple of novels a week.. Watch a lot of movies on my home system ( cinema seats locally to hard to endure)and listen critically to modern jazz…… well for ten minutes before I doze off.

My daughter has more money than me so she’s not getting mine yet.
You alright? Will in the same drawer?Phone next week.

I enjoy every minute left to me.

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Good for you!

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On the matter of friends and family, my wife and I don’t really have any nearby friends now. I have an old schoolfriend who I’ve kept in touch with over the years. We used to hang out together a lot at school and afterwards in university holidays and so on and we had some really great times. I telephone him quite regularly and he talks at great length and in some detail about his life but he very rarely ‘phones me, perhaps twice a year. When he does he shows little interest in what I’m up to. So I’m starting to think maybe it’s time to consign that friendship to the past and stop making the effort to keep it alive.

To be honest we’ve always been perfectly happy with our own company and when we have sometimes become socially involved with people it has usually resulted in some sort of disruption to our lives. We don’t have any nearby family and we don’t have children. So the two of us lead pretty solitary lives, but that suits us. Neither of us feel lonely as we are completely satisfied with each other’s company. I know that this arrangement wouldn’t suit a lot of people, but it suits us fine.

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I was very fortunate to be able to retire in my mid 50’s. At the time we were working in London but had a house in the NW of Scotland which we intended to retire to. However after a number of years visiting regularly for long weekends and longer holidays we realised just how remote the location was. The winters seemed to last from October to April. As our children were spread around USA and the UK we decided to move to Portugal almost 10 years ago.

We have a large garden which keeps us busy and relatively fit, spend a lot of time outdoors, a great group of friends for frequent socialising and support. Also we keep our minds busy with reading, attempting to learn a new language and listening to all sorts of music. Over the last few years we now have a number of grandchildren who we love come visit us and we visit them. We like travelling (now mainly linked to family visits) such as last year when we spent nearly a month driving to north Spain, ferry to the UK, drove to Scotland, then drove back via a ferry to Amsterdam. We even managed to fit in a superb concert by Robert Plant and Saving Grace in Carcassone.

As others have already said, keeping active, fit, learning and enjoying new experiences is key to a fulfilling retirement.

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Not sure about coffee/tea reduction. Just read today they are both good for you as they are anti inflammatory. Probably next week new evidence will say they are bad for you…

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Wow, you are lucky to have retired so young! I retired from a professional job some 4.5 years ago at age 67. I had plans for retirement, in particular travelling and learning to play my various musical instruments properly, plus indulge some other hobbies. However, retirement coincided with a son buying a house that needed work - resulting in 3 years of unpaid labour (from repointing to re plumbing, some wiring, installing ventilation system, and insulating the whole house). No sooner did we finish than a second son did same, though less to do and it only took a year and a half.

As planned we did buy a campervan just after retiring, and have spent quite a few months travelling in Europe, including five weeks touring Iceland, with plenty more planned. Also, a few years before retiring we started doing more faraway holidays, on the basis of doing while we are still young and fit enough, and are still doing that though only once a year longhaul.

House-wise we bought and modified almost to perfection our ‘forever home’ 15 years ago (a chalet bungalow with a downstairs bedroom and bathroom, in the countryside but only a couple of miles from town, near a bus link, corner store, pharmacy and doctor). However, due to unforeseen circumstances we have just moved home, and now have to make the new one right for us - a project on which we are just embarking. OK, but with unfortunate effect that I still don’t have time to do all I planned to do!

I’ve only ever had a small group of friends, socialising mainly limited to periodic meeting up for a drink or a meal, otherwise we go to the theatre or other local events quite often, whether with a friend or two, or our sons, or the two of us as a couple, or occasionally just me by myself.

Health-wise we are fortunate in being in good health. Our diet has been pretty healthy for many years, based on a bit of everything and not too much of any, and ignoring all fads. I have never smoked, but I do drink regularly, following a decade or more habit of normally only drinking on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, limiting to around 15 units a week. I’ve never drunk a lot of coffee, but I still do drink a lot of tea (several pints a day). As per the decade and more before retirement I cycle as often as I can, preferring that to driving locally unless inclement weather or when I have lots to carry, and do some moderate mountain- biking. I love walking, though since retiring available time has limited doing much except when away on holiday.

Overall although I ceased paid employment and no longer have the same need to go to work, I feel I haven’t really changed anything, and I am happy enough with that provided that still have capability when time becomes available to do the other things I planned for retirement. I have no intent or desire to ‘downsize’, nor simplify anything. Maybe when I receive my 100th birthday telegram(?) from King Bill I might feel different, but I hope not!

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