Things that make you feel old

the worst thing is old ladies want to help me cross the road when i do not wish to go.


i made pasta the other day. i said to my wife what would you like with it. she said
have you got meat balls. i replied i cannot help the way i walk.


Hopefully I’ll live that long to find out. :rofl::rofl:

Lucky you!
Still getting the attention…

It’s hard even if you’re 43.

Nothing worse than watching some out of control kids in public, winding people up, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Really feral brats with no manners that just ruin the restaurant or wherever you happen to see this.

And then to add insult to injury, you have to take them home with you!


The woman in the supermarket was not happy when my missus asked, “are you the owner?”. Referring to her kid that was running about.


Kids make you feel old for another really big reason.

Growing up, most kids felt their parents were tragically uncool morons that knew nothing about music or cool movies. Stuck in the past listening to -insert fogey band here-.

There is a reason for this. To all the little monsters out there: this is because the second you were born, for the next two decades, your parents had no time watch or listen to anything new. They were cool people once and then everything they knew was frozen in time at the moment of your birth. That’s why they like old fogey stuff from before you were born. It’s the last time they had any free time!


Naim boxes are a last stronghold. It’s defo related to getting older. A thing for myself, but also a bridge to my kids. It’s great to notice that the kids learn a lot about music using the hifi.

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I remember when my daughters were teenagers I had this fancy car audio system (Alpine) with a remote control and we had a 2 hour journey to make. I let them put a CD on and just ignored them while I drove. I thought the music on this CD was really repetitive and said so when we got home. There were peals of laughter from the back seat. It turned out that one of them had taken possession of the remote control and they had played this one CD on shuffle for two hours without either me or my wife noticing.

It still gets brought up today, more than 20 years later, when they want to laugh at their old parents!


I remember dancing with a young girl at a club. And her saying that Iam going to treat this as a bad joke.
I asked her what have i done wrong. She replied you are dancing on my feet.

Was that the same Sainsbury’s that had a sign saying “Please don’t leave your children sitting on the bacon slicer as we’re getting a little behind with our orders”?



When an “All-Nighter” means not getting up to use the toilet, and “Getting Lucky” means finding my car in Morrisons carpark. :roll_eyes:


When you understand that these people you’re reading about are famous celebrities but you haven’t clue who they are.

And you can’t be arsed to find out. :zzz:


Youngsters listening to music on their phone through headphones without sharing the experience with their friends. Then thinking back to when I would be sat on a floor with mates, albums strewn all around and collectively listening to the latest Led Zep album. Those mates musical tastes seem to have disintegrated now, floors are a lot lower than they used to be and are far less comfortable.


i remember when my son was 7 years old. we went to look at a house. and he said in
front of the owner Dad it has a funny smell.
we quickly rushed out.

since i retired i started to get leg ulcers. the problem is i have to wear a ladies stocking.
no fun when you where shorts.

i have a mobility issue. when i go to HMV they have to bring a chair.
they know iam a good customer.

i know what you mean. it is hard for me to my wallet

You gotta love Kids eh.

About a year back, I was walking my son to daycare. We happened to be about 5m behind our next door neighbour walking her daughter to the same place. A very nice neighbour I might add.

Sadly though, that bridge has burned. My three year old asks me in his loud, as yet not found the volume control voice, “Daddy why is Mrs. X sooo fat?! And she looks like a man. She looks more mannish than you!

I mean what can you possibly do when that happens? Can’t throw the bugger in a lake. I can’t jump in a lake (much as I wanted to).


Bloody funny