Things like this thread do have a very useful function, which we refer to as ‘peer support’; and, unless we feel it inappropriate for the client’s individual character or circumstances, then we will signpost them to peer support groups where this is possible.
However as Richard says it is vitally important to understand the differences between peer support and professionally guided therapy, and important to understand the limits of peer support. It’s main use is as an adjunct to ongoing therapy; trying to rely peer support alone (without the professional support) is definitely not the best approach, and can be really quite unwise in some circumstances.
In the UK, BACP and Psychology Today have good searchable indexes to help find properly qualified professionals. The Psychology Today index allows for searching on a wider range of specialisations, but isn’t a regulatory / training body in the same way as BACP, so there is more onus on the client to check the person’s professional qualifications before entrusting your mind to their attentions. Note than in the UK (and many other countries), unlike for medical doctors and qualified nurses, there is no formal legally enforced framework as who can call themselves a counsellor or therapist and work in those fields - so do check the qualifications.
There are threads on audiophile tweaks, like isolation devices, absorbing panels, powerblocks…
I see that thread as a discussion about tweaks against anxiety and depression, not a call for help, which would be inappropriate on that forum. In that case only professionals can help, and certified ones, as there are so many fake psychologists or gurus of all kinds.
Fresh air, mind occupation, openness to others, exercise, light evening food, good sleep…are the tweaks.
Although it didn’t work out at the time for you I’ve often been sceptical of fees for trade unions and professional bodies, but they are really invaluable for employment concerns as I’ve found over the last few years - you don’t miss the support they can give until you really need it and in many cases they won’t support you for events prior to being a member.
There are so many nuances to employment law you cannot possibly know them as an employee, and when you want someone to back you up you need a professional experienced team to do so.
Something I’ve come to realise in the last few years is that even if you have insight into the fact your mental wellbeing is not where it should be you really don’t see how far you’ve fallen down that rabbit hole and hit rock bottom until you feel better again.
Reading this thread has started me thinking since its inception. It does show how each of us are different and react to events in our life according to individual circumstances. My experience, training and work in the last 10 years before I moved here to France was as a counsellor. Two years post grad, msc in ptsd diagnosis, treatment and disaster handling. This followed on from my own traumatic experience and the help I received.
To answer one response on here I still regard myself as an amateur in understanding another’s individual view of the world and their response to it. Unless I am working with the individual I am as amateur as the next human so this is my general comment rather than specific to anyone’s individual story on here.
I have found that sharing experiences of both traumatic experiences and how to deal with them is very much needed. We all have a need to be heard and a need to know we are not alone in our response to difficult events. This thread allows that to happen. On the other hand the warning to not rely on this type of thread for a personal solution is apposite. When we are at the bottom of the depressive cycle and struggle to just get out of bed, advice to exercise, or take up a hobby, or attend a concert isn’t helpful. It can also magnify the feeling of inadequacy that many of us can feel at such times, when everyone else appears to be coping.
Richard wisely summed it up when he said
“it’s worth reiterating that this is not the best place to seek help” and
“So please do share your experience here, but if you are looking for real help then I would urge you to seek out a proper accredited Counsellor or Psychotherapist”
Skeptikal made the similar point.
My own personal view is that this thread should continue, should be monitored if Richard is willing but most importantly of all should be viewed by us all as a pointer to how things can improve over time, especially with help. Again my personal view is that we never ‘get over’ our traumatic experience but we can learn to integrate it into our memory and manage it in the present.
The last thing I want to say is that all, that is all, of the contributors have added something positive and I thank them for their bravery.
To be fair when I contacted Unite’s legal department about the industrial injury claim they were brilliant. I met with the lawyer who was building the case and discussed the case in detail, especially the gap in physiotherapy and intimidatory practices. Then I was sent to a specialist for an expert diagnosis. I would never have got anywhere without them. It was the shop floor rep who was useless.
Mental health and our well being is a major concern for most of us in this modern world. We’re constantly being bombarded with information pressured in one form or another and from all directions. Like many others here I’d be reluctant to offer any advice, it’s hard enough to help and guide those close to you without trying to help some one you know nothing or very little about.
Having gone through some hard times in the 80s I can completely understand how difficult it is to keep picking yourself back up but the truth is you have too. Hopefully friends and family can help although sometimes their well meaning intentions are often misdirected, that’s why it’s important to get professional advice.
My only comment is time, time to allow yourself to recover from trauma and loss. Running and/or bike riding is great way to take your mind off your problems and I guess just keeping busy helps.
Re meds, nobody passes judgement when you’re on meds for “medical” reasons however if you’re on meds for mental health reasons seems everyone has an opinion.
I hope the OP allows themselves the time to rebuild their life and everything works out. Best of luck.
One of my ex business partners had a son that sufferred from skitzophrenia (sp?). To assist, he took on the leadership of the local skitzophrenia society. He said that one of the main problems was that most people confused skitzophrenia with mutliple personality disorder and vice versa, which made it more difficult to diagnose the real issues and get people the correct help they needed.
We employed his son for basic factory tasks and seriously overpaid him for what he was capable of, and we made him part of the team and it all helped him with a feeling of accomplishment and self-respect.
We also helped other employees in similar ways. (We had 130 employees).
I wish this was a standard thing that companies would do to ‘give back’, without the reward of tax breaks and government program incentives.
Mais, c’est la vie … there’s only so many old hippies running successful businesses.
@Pete_the_painter - Thank you. I am stable at present, on the other side of my ‘problems’ and trying to improve. My absolute top priority is to be there for my Son, who has just reached 23 and it about the start Year 4 of his Medicine course, at Bristol.
As you and others have mentioned exercise is fantastic for boosting mood, especially if you can engage in some kind of group or team sport for the interaction it also brings to the table which is probably equally beneficial if you’ve been keeping yourself to yourself. Solo exercise can be mind numbingly boring at times, at least to me.
Some just won’t have the conifdence or motivation to do exercise, for others they physically cannot do so easily if at all. I find I can be well motivated to exercise in fits and starts then injuries set in which can be a real setback if they last for weeks or months on end.
This is so true and very wrong, but thankfully I think things are changing for the better, especially with some high profile individuals highlighting matters. The problem is that others far too often consider mental health matters as a personal failing, lack of resilience or simply putting it on, whether you are prescribed medication or not.
What I forgot to mention initially is that concern about other people’s perceptions prevent many individuals seeking help in the first place, whereas they’d be entirely supportive of you seeking help for physical medical issues (most anyway). Physical and mental wellbeing are often intertwined.
We have a confidential wellbeing service at work which is excellent should you need it. They regularly send wellbeing surveys to all staff to assess the workforce’s mood - participation is voluntary and again confidential.
The effects of Mental Health issues cover a broad spectrum. As with physical disabilities there will be consequences for an employer. Just how far an employer can probe and what disclosure is reasonable is not clear to me.
On a positive note, getting over fuzzy thinking without pills is possible for some. For me work was about the buzz of being able to find creative solutions to problems and delivering. IT consultancies did not suit me. The fact that the pay was comparable or better was no compensation. Fortunately after a dearth of interesting stuff and a few job changes I found a client for whom I worked for for ten years. Working in industry was always better though, so I retired early to live from property after the children fledged.
The wrong job can cause a downward spiral and my outlet was a self build at weekends a few years into consultancy. No Grand Designs on TV to make you think about whether it’s a good idea! Other things such as a friendship ending left me emotionally empty without answers. The energy has to come from somewhere. Certainly not pills. It took ages to realise it was grief. There was still plenty to learn about myself though. Probably a good counsellor would have helped. Ultimately it’s about finding a way to move on to good places without more damage.
Recently I feel able to have understandings about modern theories of high energy physics and cosmology (the former plus general relativity). I enjoy playing with ideas.
A good subject to give some exposure too
Certainly had a period of depression myself many years ago during a particularly nasty and unpleasant divorce, which also had an effect on my children.
Glad its way behind me, fighting battles with someone who was determined to destroy me - but failed to do so.
My approach during these 2-3 years was to continually remind myself that this phase was only going to be temporary, that good people do prevail, and to focus on what I could control and what I could influence.
I also mapped out some goals for when this temporary phase would be over.
Eventually it was over and whilst I regret the amount of unnecessary energy and time that was wasted - I came through the other end and so did my children.
