Thank you for starting this thread and as others on this forum have pointed out, you are not alone and it is a common state of mind.
I found that stresses of work and everyday life eventually took its toll on me, I was pretty blind sided and never saw it coming.
I decided to take early retirement from a relatively stressful job, once I was in control of my time started doing the things I enjoyed. I started the going to the gym, gave up alcohol and travelled, I believe there is a definite balance between the mind, body and soul which modern life unbalances.
I rediscovered my Naim Hifi and the joy listening to music gave me, and the love of finding new music and artists to listen to.
Once again, thank you for starting this thread and I hope you find peace and happiness
I second the rediscovering, or just discovering, of Naim HiFi. Opened up a world of recorded music to me that had previously left me unengaged. The aquaria are getting moved from the spare room and my main system installed. Thank you Rwalker3.
I suffer from anxiety and have had a couple of depressive episodes - although technically I am not sure that the first was depression, it was certainly deep stress. Both brought on by stress at work - am very fortunate to have a strong relationship with my wife (married 27.5 years) despite my spending on Naim .
The first was due to bullying at work by my immediate boss. Not helped by having to put the cat down in the same week. The second time was brought by on by stress from working for a charity and being caught between the trustees and the executive while the money was running out and going very negative (and also being v busy in my own business). Anyway - the charity continues (I helped it survive by doing cashflows that showed to the auditor and then independent examiner that it was a going concern for three years while losing money and going negative ) and is now doing really well financially so a good outcome, but it was really costly for me. (Quick edit to add - it was absolutely due to selflessness that I got to a bad place, not selfishness) Also encountered the instigator of the first spell professionally while that was going on which was difficult - though the case settled on what I opined not what he did which was a jolly good result .
In between that I suffer from claustrophobia and don’t like total dark. There are times when I need a light in at night. No idea what that’s about
Starting back earlier, I think my vulnerability is rooted in my mum’s projection that I wasn’t good enough (I have low self esteem). I found doing Myers Briggs when I was 30 really helpful to understand that I was a different person from my mum, and not inherently wrong because of that. In fact with some later similar sorts of personality tests I learned that I was pretty much designed to do my work, though it is very stressful when my clients don’t seem to think I need time off. Or rather then several at once think that… on a good day it is enormous fun and I have a big impact on outcomes, although on many jobs I go through an “I have no idea what I am doing” stage until I find something that is important and changes the picture and makes sense
During my only major, extended episode I went to the GP and got some medication (can’t remember what) which I took for a while until it just felt right to reduce and stop. Also found a psychologist for weekly one hours sessions for about 15-18 months which was really helpful. Though difficult at times. A couple of years after that finished I am now in a pretty good place but still have minor anxieties. I hate telephoning people and get my wife to do the takeaway orders over the phone - I think that might stem from not being able to see people’s faces on the phone which is difficult for me with experience of a mother whose facial expressions I often misjudged and got into bother for
And sometimes that happens on here. When I got my S1 pre I had a thread that deteriorated into people essentially saying they thought I was stupid, should have spent the money differently etc, some people being downright rude. So when I go full statement I won’t be telling any of you . (Am listening now and the S1 was def right for me so yar boo sucks )
There is a lot in your account that I can relate too, regarding experiences with/at work. For part of my career, I worked at a site nr Coventry. The culture at that site could be a bit… robust - but it was honest and open, in the main. When I moved to a site in Derby (people may now work out what this company is called…), the culture was very different. On the surface, very polite and gentlemanly - but under the surface it could be very different. Some individuals thought is was OK to be downright nasty, if it served their ends or served the Project, in 1-to-1 interactions. Very much Jekyll and Hyde.
Regarding comments on here, again I am very much with you. There could be more mutual respect and consideration. Not knocking people with lesser systems - while equally not getting argumentative or jealous of those with higher level ones. And certainly not the common line - you should do this, because I did - and I am right.
I’ve resisted posting much personal detail thus far, but an excellent thread.
Please do not take it as criticism but I’m baffled at what @Skeptikal may have mentioned that was so negative apparently to several people, simply as moderation prevented me from seeing their posts.
I’m a somewhat self-deprecating individual and at times may come across with alacrity or silliness, but I’m honestly a bit concerned that someone has been asked to leave the thread when the core subject matter may be significant for them.
I trust @Richard.Dane to always moderate fairly so assume post removal was appropriate but if you’ll forgive me I have heightened concern about the member who has effectively been ostracised from a discussion on mental wellbeing.
I’ll potentially post some more detailed personal information related to this thread separately and I’m not making these comments to aggravate, just honestly wondering if another forum member may be in an even darker place and we’re missing an opportunity to help?
I find it very interesting that so many posts express depression/anxiety has been caused by too many negative events/life experiences over time.
Even if people feel that it’s ‘juggling too many reactive depressive balls’ vs endogenous depression for no particular reason, the effects can be similar and any support is welcome.
I don’t see why the OP is being asked to justify themselves. I don’t think this thread has any responsibility to be an open debating society. It’s my understanding that it is here as a mutual support and understanding tool. Not a place for provocateurs to sound off and disrupt the calm and considered environment that is being created here.
A little perspective… Anxiety can be so bothersome, but for those of you who experience anxiety because of life itself, it can be good to know that in psychiatry it is not considered a dangerous condition. Anxiety of the normal degree is rather considered a part of life and something that can be treated if you seek qualified help when needed. However, what is considered serious in psychiatry is when anxiety coincides with a more serious depression. It can ultimately lead to the end of a person’s will to live. What I want to say;
Be humble about what you don’t understand and what you haven’t experienced, there are people out there living all the pains of hell. Think about whether you belong to that group or not, if not, feel lucky!
Well said – ‘there but by the grace of God’ as a saying applies. It’s not until you are truly touched by such issues, do you appreciate the often unseen elements e.g. I had a close friend who was ‘triggered’ in to a breakdown (family events hastening thoughts of one’s own demise?), he being the last person you might think this would happen to. To use a hi-fi metaphor, his streaming software seized-up, which left him unable to process events – like writer’s block. It took a year of meds and professional re-booting to re-set him.
That’s the problem unfortunately, as I said above I can’t quite put it in context as I didn’t see the comments, but assume they were deemed out of place or discussions became argumentative in some way hence the eventual need for moderation.
I’ve been asked not to contribute to the subject in the post and that’s fine even although what I posted was asked for in the original post I was never given a chance.
So please don’t treat my absence from contributions by rubbishing me with no right of reply.
That’s very low.
And the OP was very wrong to victimise and conspire against me.
This post contains no advice so I don’t deem it worthy of deletion but that’s beyond me.
Good luck to all that have never had the deep misfortune I have had and could have helped.
Shame on you.
Thank you for your post. Glad that you thinks its good.
The posts you refer to were removed by the Moderator, in response to being flagged to him, certainly my myself and maybe by others. The decision to remove was the Moderators - as always.
I note what you say about ‘another forum member’. We cannot know.
I am with @davidhendon , in his post above. I also suggested that the person start their own thread.
The person has posted again above.
I do not see how I could victimise him or conspire against him. Can I not disagree with his take on this…?
Hi AC, in response to your question, I do not publicly discuss details of moderation matters (see forum rules).
What I will say there is that nobody is being excluded here and indeed members posting their experience on this thread is positively encouraged, whether on this thread or a separate dedicated one. However, posts that might well be considered a personally targeted attack and ad hominem comment is not on, and is removed as per forum rules.
Al I ask here is that members adhere to forum rules and code of conduct, and that any response to members and their posted experience on here try to be positive and hopefully uplifting.
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