Audiophile Rocks?

Now I know a lot of hi-fi tweakery is quite beyond satire, but a friend sent me a link to the Audiophile Rocks website as a joke. Not only do I think they might be serious, but they’ve got a picture of one sitting on what looks like a Nait 5i. I’ll leave you to enjoy the website at your leisure, but I couldn’t resist quoting part of the their FAQ section:

What does H2U2 stand for?

It stands for Holy Crystal Treatment, Hyper Crystal Treatment, Ultra Transparent Crystal Treatment, 2-stage Unreal Crystal Formula.

How many Crystal Formulas have you designed?

Between year 2009-2019 we designed these Crystal Formulas: Tourmaline, Alien, IsoCloud, IsoTower, Forest, 2D, 3D, Paradise, Transporter, Hell, Desert, Dolphin, Predator, Alien Ultra, Paradise Ultra, Dolphin Ultra, Unreal, Hyper, H2U2, H2U2M (Superstar), H2U2S, H2U2MS, Alien Star, Nebula and Supernova. The Superstar and Supernova are our best formulas.

I am, unusually, speechless.


Thanks for the pointer, it’s a good website. A few years ago someone was selling special jars containing special pebbles, which supposedly had a miraculous effect on the sound when strategically placed between the speakers. The world of hifi is full of miracle rubbish for the gullible to purchase.

I’m sure the application of a green triangle would materially improve the performance of these crystals…


Those long in the tooth with hi-fi tweaks, will know what I mean!


Isn’t this a parody site? I saw it a while ago and assumed it was.

My favourite was three green dolphins on my NDac and three inverse H2U2SW under the NSFW polarity.

That was my initial assumption (not least due to being involved in a long-running exchange of crackpot websites with the chap who sent it to me). However, I found little there to support that view. Like I say, any and all hi-fi tweakery is well beyond satire.

These rocks work very well actually, but you have to use them correctly:

Hold one in each hand, and when someone waxes lyrical on the benefits of Audiquest Vodka ethernet cables, throw them at him. Ensuing silence will dramatically lower the noise floor of your system, and increase your sense of wellbeing. Magic.


All these tweaks work!

When you’re really Wasted :blush:

My neighbours cat used to come to visit and often had a snooze on the hi cap or 140 some years back. Not sure if it improved the sounds but it always brought a smile to my face when I came in an noticed it there.

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