Best jokes

Where are you going Robin?

To the Batroom

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i was on a french boat and i wanted a jam roll. my friend said he speaks french.
so he orders a roll with jambon. the waiter brings me a ham roll.

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an American tourists bought tickets for the Barbican. which is near Moorgate station
she phones the box office and says i will be late for the concert Iam at Margate station. this is a true story. i knew a person that worked in the Barbican.
one reason i do not travel abroad for my holiday.

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Happy Motoring

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I suspect this is stating the obvious to avoid being sued in the litigious USA for false representation, rather than placed there simply because the poster creators thought some may expect it to be that size.

Such is the world we live in…

So, when it’s actually larger, there are no miss-selling lawsuits.

G

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Being the US (& even the UK to be fair) I am sure someone would try.

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Three bulls heard via the grapevine the farmer was going to bring another bull onto the farm, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain’t’ givin’ him any of mine.”

The second bull says, “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine. I’ll fight him till I run him off or kill him, but I’M KEEPIN’ ALL MY COWS.”

The third bull says, “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to ‘take care of’. I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows.”

They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to breaking point.

The first bull says, “Ahem…You know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”

The second bull says, “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”

They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.

The first bull says, “Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”

The third bull says, “Heck, he can have ALL my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’M a bull!”

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Why’s Waldo wear stripes?
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…he doesn’t want to be spotted.

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steve

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The chap who developed hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has died.
RIP. Scott Chegg.

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I’m really starting to get tired of not being a millionaire

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image

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Is that 4’33 by John Cage?

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It’s very disappointing.

I’ve got the original vinyl, cd & several re-masters & re-mixes of that & they all sound the same to me…

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