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Glad to see there’s at least one other reader of Viz on the forum!
Mark (subscriber for many years…)
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“Yes. Daddy, I’m having a fantastic time at the festival “
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Got every annual. 
Parp Oops 
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Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing.
The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the water hazard before the green. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green.
Jesus gets up to swing, cranks it out, and it is headed for the water hazard. Jesus closes his eyes and prays. The ball skips across the water and lands on the green two feet from the hole.
The old man’s turn comes and he drives the ball. The ball looks like it is going to drop directly into the water. A fish jumps from the water hazard swallowing the ball, as an eagle drops from the sky, grabbing the fish. As the eagle flies over the green, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, making it drop the fish. As the fish hits the green, it spits out the ball and the ball falls into the hole, making a hole in one.
Jesus looks at Moses and says, “I think I’ll leave Dad at home next time!”
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NICKNAMES FOR COWORKERS…
KITKAT: Always taking a break.
BUTTER KNIFE: Not the sharpest tool in the box.
ARTHUR: Does “half a” job.
MOTION LIGHT: Only works when someone walks past.
E.T: Always wants to go home.
SEAWEED: Floats around all day and stinks like crap.
LANTERN: Not very bright, and has to be carried.
DECK CHAIR: Always folds under pressure.
G- SPOT: You can never find them.
DAISY: Some daisy’s in, some daisy’s isn’t.
FORESKIN: Disappears when things get hard.
COLESLAW: They’re 90% cabbage.
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You forgot David Gilmour !
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He might not need David Gilmour but he needs Dave Gilmour.
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I once worked a guy who was nicknamed “Lukey.” I knew his name wasn’t Luke, or any variant of it.
Me: “Why does everyone call him Lukey?”
Co-worker: “It’s short for Lucozade.”
Me: “Why is he called Lucozade??”
Co-worker: “Because he has no energy.”
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In that case, I’m happy to tell you that I checked with my brother-in-law, who is in a position to know, and he confirmed.
1 Like
Thanks. 
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Technically, the first person to download files from the cloud to a tablet was Moses.
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