Having realised just how much pleasure I derive from my music now I have current setup, my wife has absolutely no problem with the cost. I’ve never understood the type of relationship that requires one or both partners to hide, or dissemble, about the cost of what they buy. Mind you, having had joint bank accounts from the day we married, hiding illicit purchases would be pretty difficult! Our approach is that, provided we don’t need to go into debt, either of us can buy pretty much what we want. Works for us.
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Same here, except with anything substantial, say more than a few £hundred, we will always tell the other what we’re thinking of buying - partly so we don’t both spend the same money, but also spelling it out to someone else serves as a kind of reality check, making rash purchases less likely. (Not that either of us have a tendency towards rashness!)
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Joint bank accounts are anathema to marriages in my opinion. Have a joint account for household bills and contribute to said account based upon proportional income … holidays, joint purchases etc., based the same … otherwise your money is your own … spend it without a scintilla of guilt or remorse …
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I began to construct a reply, then realised it would be pointless. Have a nice day!
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There is no point of thinking about costs. I like some others have spent an insane amount of money on this hobby. It would be different if you would have taken the money away from a higher priority spending category… and even the we only live once…, at least that’s the current status of science…
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Absolutely agree 100% @BertBird - same applies to anything in life, and if you stop to calculate what you’ve spent on holidays, meals out, vehicles, rent, mortgage, etc. and focus 100% on that (without considering the context of how much enjoyment has been gained), then that’s just not balanced (IMHO).
For some reason, there is something in many people (I include myself) that feel a little guilty for having some enjoyment in life, and the need to ‘punish’ ourselves mentally for having nice experiences (listening to music, taking holidays, etc.).
I believe it’s important not to have regrets in life, and if you have the opportunity to do something memorable or have a music system capable of incredible reproduction of music, and have the means to make it happen, then grasp it and enjoy it. Life is not a dress rehearsal,
Keep enjoying the music!
ATB. George
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Unless one chooses to go into debt to buy this stuff, it’s irrelevant how much it costs. Get the basic costs of life covered, build up enough security to fall back on and the rest is there to be enjoyed.
We all see those news reports where someone dies in relative poverty and leaves behind a decent sum of money, and none of us think what a wise way that was to live a life. We all have different financial personalities, but there seems to be little point in having a huge surplus in the bank if the alternative is have daily access to something that provides endless pleasure and meaning. Doesn’t matter if it’s art, classic cars, motorcycles, wine collections or hi-fi. Once you’re past needing every penny and there’s rainy day coverage, enjoy it.
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Yep. A very good post. No one knows what the future will bring so make the most of the present.
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Cost helps us retain a sense of proportionality, not to mention sanity, regardless to what is sitting in our bank accounts. We do not live in a vacuum. The idea of not thinking about cost is a sign that we are not comfortable with the figures.
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It is not only this hobby that is frightening cost wise. Just added up the value of my camera gear for insurance renewal, scarily it is more than my hi-fi, how did I ended up with two money hole interests. But as others have said, better to spend the money and enjoy it rather than leaving it in a bank or under the proverbial mattress.
Apart from my CD player and speakers, I’ve always bought used Naim at good prices. I’ve calculated that over the last 20 years it has cost me close to £350 a year. £6.73 a week. 96p a day. That’s VFM!!
Now if I could just get my mountain biking to cost so little…
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My mountain bike cost more than my first car …
My spinning shoes cost more than my first car…
Having said that… My first car cost (I think) £30.
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Never a bad idea to stand back and add it up. You usually have more stuff than you think, worth more than you remember. If nothing else it’s an incentive to check your insurance cover.
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If you are married to her indoors and you want to partake in your hobby, you must open a discrete account for yourself and try harness all the spare money into that account, the sort of money not noticed to be missed. So when you actual purchase the must have can live without Audio component and it suddenly appears in your living room and one day your wife suddenly notices it and exclaim ‘thats new’ or ‘is that new?’ you can casually reply 'oh yeah I had it replaced with this, its prettier don’t you think and the sound is sort of sweeter…? Your wife might go a long with the assumption so any other nosey questions as to cost will be somewhat softened espescially as she realises that non of the accounts seem to be effected by this purchase.
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All it needs is absolute trust and respect in both directions, and there is no problem - and no ‘his’ and ‘hers’, just joint benefit of all. After all, isn’t that what marriage is about?
I earn three times as much as does my wife - why should she not have as much benefit of my earning as I have? Whether she does spend as much as me, or less, or more, is nothing to do with which one of us earns more. We have dedicated our lives to each other, and our possessions are part of that, likewise money.
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We have a system that I’d commend to all couples. Our incomes go into a joint account from which all household expenses are met. A standing order moves money to various savings accounts. We each get an equal amount of pocket money transferred to our separate personal accounts to do with as we will. It’s worked like a dream for over twenty years.
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@Innocent_Bystander @anon4489532 … HH … your system is “almost” the opposite of ours … we contribute from our personal accounts into a joint account out of which all our bills are paid. The percentage contribution is based upon income … for the majority of our marriage my wife has earned more than I have … when I retired 7 years ago the earnings disparity went to about 5 - 1 in her favor, so we recalculated the deposit into the joint account based upon the new percentage contribution …
At all times this was based on absolute trust and mutual respect … whatever works to make our marriages successful … a classic case of different strokes for different folks …
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All good unless you happen to live in a no-fault divorce jurisdiction. Then, as in my case, the partner that refused to work gets 50% of assets and a support arrangement, her adultery notwithstanding.
On the positive side, I consoled myself by
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