For me it varies by mood, but I do sometimes play at “realistic” levels, whence the sound level at the listening position may average high eighties for rock music. classical music depends on the type - an extreme being the Telarc 24-bit recording of Tchaikovsky’s 1812, of which the canons easily reach the 115dB max output of my speakers before clipping, perhaps 113dB(A) at my listening position, with the average sound level only in the seventies meaning I have to keep it down, unnaturally. Other dramatic orchestral music I might play with average sound levels of the higher volume passages in the eighties.
For my ears’ sake, in general I tend to keep average levels no higher than low eighties except for short periods of time - truly realistic rock music maybe only 2 or 3 albums max in a session, and that infrequently.
Of course, what matters as far as the neighbours are concerned is the sound their side of the boundary - which depends on many other factors not just the listening level, including acoustic properties of whatever separates you from them…
For information, I’ve only measured with an iPhone app (which incidentally can vary by as much as 6dB ‘out of the box’ - you do need to make sure you use the right “weighting”: normal convention for this sort of purpose is dB(A) some apps are set for other weightings like dB(C), which is inappropriate. And having checked that there may still be up to about 3dB difference (equivalent to saying twice the sound level of the other!). Having compared apps it seemed reasonable to pick one of those giving readings very similar to a number of others. The two I settled on (having slightly different functions suited to different things) are Decibel X and dB Volume
Also very significant to the subject of this thread of course is whether to measure average or peak sound level. Average over a period of time, which is what most people tend to mean when talking about “listening level”, as opposed to instantaneous peaks such as the beat of a bass drum, for which the speed of response can make quite a difference to the reading. In my case I have a detached house, well insulated, and never open the windows when playing music.