Best Jokes 2026

[TOBYJUG]

Millions remember the martyrdom of Saint Pancake

[duf666]

[Darkside]

The fact that there is a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

[Fatcat]

I wish people would make their mind up.

[duf666]

In french “port” and “porc” (pig) are pronounced the same…

[MikeD]

Bit half-arsed, if you ask me.

[Kryptos]

As there is already an Ikea joke in the thread I’ll add this:

[Jamiewednesday]

Well, everyone’s thinking the same thing, surely..?

[Canaryfan]

TANK immediately sprung to mind but I don’t find it particularly funny…….

[Jamiewednesday]

A Tommy Tank?

[Canaryfan]

Cockney rhyming slang for YANK I presume?

Hang on, that sounds a bit rude…..

[Collywobbles]

[Ebor]

BAND?

BARK?

BANS?

BUNK?

BACK?

BANG?

BONK?

RANK?

SANK?

DANK?

HANK?

LANK?

This is fun…

[kaypeejay]

It doesn’t make for a great spectator sport!

[duf666]

[bruss]

My sister phoned and told me she’d asked the local council if it was ok to have a skip outside her house. They said go for it fatty, hope it helps you get down to your target weight,

[TOBYJUG]

[TOBYJUG]

[duf666]

Surely already posted…

[Ravvie]

I’ve decided to give gardening a go. I bought these so we could have home-grown chips but the contents look nothing like the picture. Instead, all I got was some dirty brown things.

I’m going to return them.