The version of that joke that my wife always reminds me of is “every ten years” not “every year”!
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“You’re the most jealous woman I know”
"You know other women?
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Many a word and all that…
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Should post that one in here. 
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I know you are supposed to exercise, and I did try jogging once, but it made the wine jump right out of the glass.
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Found this whilst out walking this morning, so if anyone has lost an elastic band, please get in touch.
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Did you make that up all on your own or did you get your wife to help you?
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Found it elsewhere 
Spelling rules.
I before E
Except when your foreign neighbour Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.
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Cut open an avocado. Yet another wooden ball. Would it hurt the makers of avocados to put in a different toy once in a while?
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Did you know? By replacing potato crisps with grapefruit as a snack you can lose up to 90% of what little joy you still have left in your life.
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Never believe what an American sandwich tries to tell you.
It’s always full of baloney.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
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