Best jokes

Not a joke as such but an amusing true experience at the supermarket this afternoon.
I was pleased to find that the store in question had put a guard on the door limiting people to a minimum and one in one out.
I waited to be admitted to what were still sparcely stocked shelves that resembled the aftermath of a locust plague. The few people inside were wandering the aisles obeying signs to keep a 2 metre distance.

Pausing to eye the few remaining items in the fruit n veg Isle was disconcertingly surreal as I was aware of another shopper staring intently from 2 metres away to see if I was going to lay my hands on the sole remaining bag of spuds.
:rofl:

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I’ve bought a dart board and stuck a map of the world on it. I gave the missus a dart and told her to throw it and wherever it landed I would take her there for a romantic holiday when the pandemic is over.
Turns out were going to spend a fortnight behind the fridge

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Love these! Thanks to all of you!

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Abbey Roe.

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Under current guidelines nobody should cough within 2 metres of you. If they do then it is to be recorded as a ‘near cough’ and you should immediately instruct them to 'far cough.’…

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Just had an anxious call from an old friend. He says he can’t cope with working from home and feels like the room is shrinking around him.

He’s a plasterer by trade.

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Megalithic / Neolithic humour …

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What is ‘Fysolate’, and why are so many people selling it all of a sudden?

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Even Prince Charles has begun to sell fysloate, so at least it must be organic.
Although I cannot believe he needs the money.

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Prince Charles is in isolation with Covid-19.

Prince Andrew is in isolation with Jennifer, 14

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not only that Rod, who invented/discovered the the stuff in the first place, and has it been patented. Is the same as selling your soul to the devil, d’ye think?

I could start to sell farm instead of selling fysolate.

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Thanks Boris; I always wondered what a month of Sundays would be like.

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