Kids, they know everything there days. 
1 Like
Breaking News - The DFS sale has finally finished!
15 Likes
Horoscope for 24th March:
Aries: A good day to stay indoors
Taurus: A good day to stay indoors
Gemini: A good day to stay indoors
Cancer: A good day to stay indoors
Leo: A good day to stay indoors
Virgo: A good day to stay indoors
Libra: A good day to stay indoors
Scorpio: A good day to stay indoors
Sagittarius: A good day to stay indoors
Capricorn: A good day to stay indoors
Aquarius: A good day to stay indoors
Pisces: A good day to stay indoors
8 Likes
If it helps Dave, you did better than me. It took me a while, then boy o’ boy, the penny dropped !
1 Like
Hi Mike,
I am hoping it remains virus free. Bit like a sanctuary.
I think the probabilities have run their course, I found myself having to search out my old school maths books to cope with a few of the more recent ones !
I’ve got a small variety of other teasers in the back of my mind, so let’s see how they work out.
Cheers, Don
1 Like
Shopkeeper then says: “Hey now, there’s no call for that.” The man says: “Yes there is: ‘Here, waspy, waspy, waspy’”.
I ate 10 times today, slept 5 times … and it’s still today.
2 Likes
Don’t forget the clocks go forward on Sunday, so it’s only 23 hours stuck in the house.
9 Likes
This one isn’t mine, it has been doing the rounds the past couple of days:
Scene: A plane with five passengers on board: Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a 10 year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only four parachutes.
Trump said “I need one. I’m the smartest man in the USA and am needed to sort out the problems of the World!’, takes one and jumps.
Boris said ‘I’m needed to sort out Britain’. He takes one and jumps.
The Pope said ‘I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church.’ He takes one and jumps.
Merkel says to the 10 year old: “You can have the last parachute. I’ve lived my life, yours is only just starting.”
The 10 year old replied: “Don’t worry, there are two parachutes left, the smartest man in the USA took my school bag.”
23 Likes
We dont have face masks so E’r Indoors has taken to wearing a paper bag on her head.
I must say I’m liking the new look… 
3 Likes
A British army General is touring a field hospital.
He approaches the first bed and asks
“What’s your condition soldier?”
“Haemorrhoids sir!”
“I see, what’s the treatment?”
“Yellow ointment on the brush applied to the affected area sir”
“Ambition?”
“Get fighting fit and return to the front sir!”
“Good man!”
Moving on to the next bed
“What’s your condition soldier?”
“Syphilis sir!”
“I see, what’s the treatment?”
“Yellow ointment on the brush applied to the affected area sir”
“Ambition?”
“Get fighting fit and return to the front sir!”
“Good man!”
Next bed
“What’s your condition soldier?”
“Trench foot sir!”
"I see, what’s the treatment?
“Yellow ointment on the brush applied to the affected area sir”
“Ambition?”
“Get fighting fit and return to the front sir!”
“Good man!”
Moving to the next bed
“What’s your condition soldier?”
“Tonsillitis sir!”
“I see, what’s the treatment?
“Yellow ointment on the brush applied to the affected area sir”
“Ambition?”
" To be first in line for that fookin brush!”
8 Likes