Aren’t those tails meant to be double insulated?
Regards
Richard
Traffic report:
One lane closed on the Hallway between junction 1, The bathroom, and junction 2, The Hot Press, due to overturned clothes horse - Mam is at the scene.
Usual delays in The Kitchen at The Fridge and Toaster roundabouts but the Muesli and Porridge press is moving freely.
Lights are out in the Sitting Room due to the clocks going forward but do approach with caution as there are confused children wandering about.
The main bathroom has been closed due to someone shedding a load, so avoid if possible, should be reopened in about 15 minutes.
That’s it for this hour, there may be an update in the next hour depending on if I decide to go back to bed or not. (Author unknown)
Man goes to confession;
“Forgive me father for I have sinned”
“Then confess your sins my son”
“I’ve been fornicating”
“So who have you been fornicating with?”
“Oh no father, I cant tell you who”
“I cannot grant you absolution unless you confess with whom you’ve been fornicating”
“Oh no sorry father, I really cant tell you that”
The Priest thinks for a moment then says;
" I will try to help you son just answer yes or no. Was it the barmaid from the Dog And Duck? I hear she has loose morals".
“No Father”
“Was it the young lady that delivers the post in the village? I hear shes a bit promiscuous”
“No Father”
“Was it the lady at the stables? I hear she’s into a bit more than just equine pursuits”
“No father”
“Then my son if you are unwilling to confess who, I cannot grant you absolution”
So the man leaves, on his walk home he bumps into a friend.
" lovely morning, just on my way back from confession"
“Oh really, says the friend, what for”
“Well, I been fornicating”
“Oh that’s bad, did he grant you absolution?”
“No, but he gave me a couple of red hot leads!”
Brilliant!
That’s great.
Two guys chatting, one says to the other “If you had the choice of spending the rest of your life with the most beautiful woman in the world or you could have absolutely any car currently in production would you go with petrol or electric?”
Same two guys “By the way, you know I’ve got two new neighbours well would you believe that one is a genealogist and the other is a gynaecologist”
“Really, what’s the difference?”
“Well, one looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush…”
Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went out yesterday and has not come home…
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?
Husband:
I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant:
Weight?
Husband:
Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant:
Colour of eyes?
Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant:
Colour of hair?
Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.
Sergeant:
What was she wearing?
Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don’t know exactly.
Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?
Husband:
She went in my Audi
Sergeant:
What kind of Audi was it?
Husband:
Audi A6 Avant Black Edition,
Ambient Lighting pack - A6, Front and outer rear heated seats, Valcona leather - Lunar silver + super sport seats, 3 spoke heated sports leather multifunction steering wheel with paddle shift, LED Matrix headlights with high beam assist, Pearlescent paint, Audi drive select, Audi parking system plus with front and rear sensors, Audible and visual fasten seat belt warning - front and rear, Cruise control, Driver’s information system, MMI SD card Navigation, Mobile telephone preparation, PAS, Service interval indicator, 3 point seatbelts on all seats, ABS-EBD, ASR traction control, Curtain airbags, Driver and passenger airbags, Driver-front passenger side airbags, Electromechanical parking brake, Electronic stability control, Front passenger airbag deactivation, Hill hold assist, Tyre pressure monitoring system, Warning triangle and first aid kit, Anti theft alarm, Anti-theft wheel bolts, Immobiliser, Keyless Start, Remote central locking, Audi music interface, Auxiliary input socket, DAB digital radio module, MMI Radio plus with CD player and bluetooth interface, SD card slot, USB connection, 12V power in rear centre console, 4 way electric lumbar support, 4 zone climate control, Aluminium door sill trims, Black cloth headlining, Double cargo floor, Electric front seats + driver memory, Front centre armrest, Front head restraints, Front-rear floor mats, Height adjustable front seats, Isofix front passenger and rear seat preparation, Jack and tool kit, Load lashing points, Luggage compartment cover, Luggage rails, Perforated leather gearknob, Rear headrests, Split folding rear seat, Auto dimming rear view mirror, Automatic headlights + automatic windscreen wipers, Body coloured bumpers, Body coloured door mirrors and handles, Body coloured roof spoiler, Door sill trims with S line logo, Electric front-rear windows, Headlight washers, High gloss black door mirrors, High gloss black finish B pillar, High gloss black triangular aperture at rear door, LED daytime running lights, LED rear lights, Light sensor, Platinum grey front lip spoiler, Privacy glass (to rear of B post), Rain sensor, Rear wiper, Alcantara door trim, Piano black finish inlay, Space saver spare wheel, Black Styling pack, Non smoking pack, Diesel particulate filter
See posting 2234 in this thread!