“There is not enough time to get everything done” is straight out of my songbook. I’ve used that one with monotonous regularity ever since leaving work behind.
Another master of innuendo was Ronnie Barker. For example,
“ The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow”.
Kenneth Williams famously hated innuendo.
He said if he saw one in a script he’d whip it out immediately.
I was prescribed orthopaedic shoes.
I didn’t think they’d work but I stand corrected.
And hand it to Rambling Syd Rumpo.
Can’t beat a good single entendre
Have we had a joke removed?
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.
Ronnie Barker
I went to a restaurant the other day called ‘Taste of the Raj.’ The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.
Ronnie Barker
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Ronnie Barker
Sadly FAR too true.
Taken from the thread around the corner:
A guy came into the shop and started auditioning headphones. He cranked them so loud one could hear them upstairs. The dealer stepped in, “Sir I think you’ll find the speakers are at the other end of the shop. ”
Never to be reformed and entirely set in their ways. 
Police have just discovered concrete evidence of their whereabouts
Barry Cryer’s favourite Frankie Howerd joke apparently:
A 92 year old man visits his doctor.
“I’d like a full medical examination please”, he says
“Oh really”, says the doctor. “At your age I’m not sure there’s much to examine”.
“Well I’m about to get married you see, to my 24 year old girlfriend, and I want to make sure everything’s in perfect working order!”
“24! And you’re 92? Well I’ll do the examination and we’ll take a look but considering your age, you might want to think about getting a lodger in, you know someone younger, for… um…company”
“OK, thanks for the suggestion, I might do that”
Some time later he comes back for a check up.
“How are you and how’s the young bride?” he asks
“Couldn’t be better, in fact she’s expecting!”
“I see…You got a lodger in then…?”
“Oh yes Doctor, yes indeed, that was a great idea of yours”
“It was?”
“Oh yes, funny thing is, she’s pregnant too!”