Chap in emergency call centre clicks on an incoming…
“Hello, what’s your emergency?”
‘It’s my buddy Joe, we’re out hunting and he just suddenly collapsed. Oh my God, his eyes are glazed and he’s not breathing. I… I think he’s dead.”
“Right, I can help but first I need you to calm yourself and then make sure he’s dead.”
Silence. And then a shot is heard.
“OK, now what…?”
Why does Pepsi never advertise using its official slogan, as used by UK pub landlords: “It’s Pepsi, is that alright?”
Got mine today.
I, for one, am a great fan of Roman numerals
(Recycled from Private Eye)
After 22 years my clothes-horse has collapsed
It’s the end of an airer.
Take it to the knacker’s yard.
Time to hoof it out then. Don’t delay, time’s galloping on.
My local Blacksmith gave me an eager puppy to take home.
Straight away it made a bolt for the door.
I think the other side of the sign says “Help!”