A soldier was stationed abroad and received a ‘Dear John’ letter from his girlfriend back home. It read:
“Dear Harry, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated twice since you’ve been gone and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent you. Love, Kim."
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of Kim, Harry included all the other pictures of pretty girls he had collected.
There were 43 photos in the envelope along with a note that read:
“Dear Kim, I’m so sorry, but I can’t remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile and send the rest back to me. Take care, Harry.”
It reminds me of a QI episode from a few years ago. Alan Davies was expressing confusion about the “fact” that if you open two identical toilet facilities next to each other within a month the Gents will stink and the Ladies will be as fresh as when it opened. Sandi looked at him and said “That’s because we don’t p*ss on the floor.”
Sad news. The man who devised the M&S food ads has died…
He will be cremated tomorrow in an applewood and mesquite fire with blistered marshmallows and charred Madagascan vanilla pods!
Not just any funeral. It’s an M&S funeral.!
I’ve just watched as a man crashed his car, whilst he was on the phone, and eating a sandwich at the same time … … … and they say it’s only women who can multitask.
Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won’t be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon hit the beach. They notice a gorgeous blonde in a tiny bikini. “Good afternoon, Fathers,” she says as she strolls by.
The men are stunned. How does she know they’re clergy? Later they buy even wilder attire: surfer shorts, tie-dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses. The next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blonde, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them, and says, “Good morning, Fathers.”
“Just a minute, young lady,” says one of the priests. “We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?”
“Don’t you recognize me? I’m Sister Kathryn from the convent.”
Your lucky. We have a naughty nightime ghost.
Whenever I go for a quiet one during the night, the naughty one likes to do exactly this - tipping the seat midstream.
In the dark this requires some skill.
Lol, I came across this pan design in 1977 ( at Café de Til in Amsterdam)… the landlord told me with a big grin that it was made so because “Germans like to examine their stools”.
At the risk of sending this thread into an even steeper nosedive than it already is, when I lived in Germany I just stood and aimed straight for the water.
And yes, the stool-inspection reason was also that given to me. When in Rome…
The answer, according to those in charge at Schipol Airport, is to give the blokes something to aim at, hence the ceramic flies installed in the urinals.
