If I am ever on life support,
Unplug me …
Then plug me back in.
See if that works …
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1998: “Never get into a car with a stranger”.
2008: “Don’t arrange a meeting with someone from the internet alone”.
2019: UBER … Order yourself a stranger from the internet and get into a car with them alone …
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When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East’.
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I got a bad crick in my neck while sleeping, and threw my back out sneezing,
I’m probably just one good, strong fart away from complete paralysis …
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My wife asked for a new bag and belt last xmas, so i bought her them, the vacuum cleaner has never worked so well!
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I’m so poor, I can’t even pay attention
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One day two young brothers in Rome, aged 12 and 14 came home with a 20 and 50 euro note. Their mother asked them where they got all that money.
“Well, we were standing outside the brothel when a guy left,” said the 12-year-old. “We told him we knew where he had been, so he asked us not to reveal anything and gave us 20 euros.”
“Then we followed the man,” said the other boy, “and when he came to his house we told him that now we also knew where he lived. Then he gave us another 50 euros and begged us to keep quiet.”
“That’s a truly awful behavior,” the mother replied. “You really should be ashamed of yourselves and feel sorry for the man. Off you go to confession.”
The boys did what they were told and went to church to confess to the priest.
After a while they came back with another 100 euros - because now they now knew where the man worked.
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10/10
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Notice that the women are all facing each other and ignoring him!
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Excellent!
steve
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As posted by Dom Jolly
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