Picked this up from the local farmers market.
Sticky Jamaican ginger bread. The seller said that despite appearances it’s quite moist.
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Looks yummy.
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:
- “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”
- “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”
- “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”
- “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”
- “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”
- “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”
- “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time – this should be banned.”
- “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”
- “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”
- “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
- “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”
- “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”
- “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”
- “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”
- “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”
- “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”
- “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
- “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”
- “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
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When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work I am no longer young.
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Einstein had recently developed his theory of relativity and was on a speaking tour of the USA. After 3 weeks non-stop, he was tiring and expressed this to his driver.
“I could give your lecture, Sir. I’ve heard it so many times. Nobody knows what you look like. You rest, I’ll get up and give the talk.”
Dubious, but relieved, Einstein sat incognito in the audience. The chauffeur gave the speech word-for-word, to the delight of Dr Einstein and the audience, but then a famous professor stood and asked a long, complicated question.
Unfazed, the chauffeur said, “That is a very simple question, Sir, in fact, to show you how simple, I’m going to ask my chauffeur to answer it…”
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A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double-take. He recognizes the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies, “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.”
The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for the cat.”
The owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.”
The owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.”
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Has anyone suggested we should try unplugging America and plugging it back in again?
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I hope they’re all fakes. If they are true it speaks a lot for today’s world. I found them more depressing than funny.
And yes, you can include my post in the list…
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It would be comforting to think that they are fakes. I’m not so sure. There was a friend of our family who, many years ago, said of her trip to Italy “but it was so full of Italians”.
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I sometimes think the same though…
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A lady asks her husband to give her a lift to the local recycling centre so that she can recycle a large bag of clothes.
Him : Why don’t you just throw them in the bin?
Her : There are starving people all around the world that could use these clothes, they are still in good condition.
Him: if they fit into your old clothes they are not starving.
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I used to work with a woman who, when I told her I was going to Rome, said she didn’t like going to Italy on holiday, as all the buildings are old.
She preferred Tenerife.
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I know of several,people unfortunately complain when they can’t get “English food” abroad.
I know of someone personally who moaned because he couldn’t get Roast beef and yorkies in Spain.
Once drove into Puerto Del Carmen in Lanzarotte and saw boards advertising Eastenders,Corrie etc, we drove straight out the other end,
Ands what’s worse than seeing the boards outside restricted showing dishes, that when they arrive look nothing like the picture,
Sorry for the rant but when I go abroad I want to try local food not sausage egg and chips!!!
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Still remember cringing when hearing English voices moaning about not being able to order chips with their meals when abroad 
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