Best jokes

That joke takes the biscuit. :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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Difficult to digest(ive) that joke, Kev. Mcvities, surely!

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This one always does it for me…

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another chestnut:

I’m on an alcohol only diet, I’ve lost three weeks already…

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That, and the colour shift, are just Lorentz-Fitzgerald contraction and red shift from going so fast.

The wall is purple which requires simultaneous red and blue shifts!

(Also looking at the two pictures I don’t think I’m in a different time frame to the monitor displaying them; nor, from the invariant colour of the text do the two images appear to have been in different time frames as in respect of the camera in each instance.)

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Well, half the time they don’t know whether they’re coming or going.

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VERY good!

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Here’s a bar chart of how much of the door I’ve painted (pinched from elsewhere on the net).

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…and the slabs :scream:

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just found online and made me chuckle…
“A World known Wasp expert hears that a copy of an impossible to get vinyl 12” of wasp sounds is available to purchase in London so make the trip half way around the World to buy it… turning up at the record store, he asks the salesperson to play the record so he can check it for quality.

Anyway, after a few tracks the Wasp expert has become enraged at the waste of time given that the recording is not of rare wasps as he had been told. He is an expert and knows his stuff!

Shamefaced, the salesperson checks the record and concludes that he had played the Bee side instead".

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The latest edition of “Descent” (the cavers’ magazine) which landed on my door mat half an hour ago includes this gem of an article.

“Batu Escalator - Malaysia’s Batu caves have 272 steps, used as a path to enlightenment for the Hindu cave temple inside. There are now plans to build an escalator alongside the steps, making enlightenment easier to achieve.”

Priceless!

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Avoid sunburn and holiday fun with a coffin floaty.

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Not a joke, but it made me smile.

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Does it come in black? Asking for a beach phobic Goth chum.

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