To this date I own none of those things. 
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The count here:
- Macbook Pro
- iPhone
- iPhone
- iPad
And, of course, an iMax.
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We used PICNIC
Problem
In
Chair
Not
Computer
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The next time I fill in a name and address form I’m going to try something new. In the section that asks for Mr/Miss/Reverend or some such other title, I’m going to fill it with ‘Olympic Hopeful.’ There is no exam to pass and when drinking coffee and swearing at pigeons gets the recognition it deserves, it’s medal time.
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Or the well known ID 10T error code.
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You could always make black pudding if you’re stuck with it, no one will ask questions about it’s provenance then.
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An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple bumps.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.
The man returns in a couple of days and the doctor says: “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it”.
The man looks a little perplexed and says: “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc”. The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis”. The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion”. The doctor replies: “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice”.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease”.
The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that! But what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis”.
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way. No need to operate”
“Oh, Thank God!”, the man replies.
“Yes”, says the Chinese doctor, “You no worry! Wait two weeks, fall off by itself! You save money.”
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In terms of rowing look up what is meant by ‘catching a crab’.
That’s going to get funny.
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