Have you heard about the new French missile?
It’s called the “Fonctionnaire”.
But, it doesn’t work. And you can’t fire it.
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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
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A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
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Well Adam,
It looks as if it’s 61% of your posts now 
Self-censorship - I do it to maintain the illusion of free will.
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It’s a nice illusion to have. Hang onto it.
Well it couldn’t of been the two snails who removed their shells to make them go faster;
it didn’t work for them, just made them more sluggish 
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I’m trying to make friends outside of Facebook by using the Facebook method.
Every day I go out on the streets & tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before & what I’ll do tomorrow night. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, me sitting in my garden & standing with my bike.
I also listen to their conversations & no matter how they reply to me I tell them I love them.
… and … guess what … it works, I already have 4 people following me: Two police officers, a psychiatrist & a Cub Scout named Chester.
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Or the one who told his French mate he dreamed of being a racing snail.
‘Oui monsier’, he replied ‘and you should paint a big ‘S’ on your shell when you make it.’
‘Why’s that then, mon bon ami?’
'Simply so that when you race by, I may exclaim “Look at that S-Car-Go!” ’
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So I asked my Swiss friend the advantages of living in Switzerland.
He said the flag is a big plus.
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I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles, my next bowel movement could spell disaster.
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That’s 8 letters. I’m not playing Scrabble with you if you’re going to cheat, the search for hidden letters could be embarrassing 
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He might have the letters to spell ‘disaste’ and can join them to an r.
Sorry 
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That reminds me of one of the best ever music reviews quotes. Allegedly after hearing ‘Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’, Johnny Mercer said:
“I could have eaten alphabetti spaghetti and shat better lyrics.”
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A female friend of mine came up to me and told me that her husband had called her something really horrible.
“What, did he call you a bitch?” I asked
“No, he didn’t call me a bitch”
“He didn’t call you a clot, did he?”
“No, he didn’t call me a clot.”
“Oh well, he didn’t hear it from me then…”
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O My God,.sensitive souls again 
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As Camphuw I thought this joke was fun…
Happy New Year 
/Peder
Agreed and I didn’t flag it either.
Naim understandably wants to keep standards on its forum.
I remember the Disney Corporation removing the shoe shine sequence from Fantasia. It stated its mission was to make customers happy not to offend. So when it found some were offended it dropped the scene. If anything I post offends then I’m happy for it to be flagged and removed. I’m also very happy to be ignored by anybody who dislikes my posts.
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I’ve been sin binned, best to take it on the chin and move on.
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Even the joke thread has been derailed
Is this a joke?
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