Many people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think?
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I would really like things to spiral into control every once in a while.
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@Beachcomber @dave-marshall @Ian2001
Man … you guys are on fire t’nite. Almost pissed meeself …
Dave
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V good mr duck
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A smart young man goes out and buys a Ferrari 360 Spider.
He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over the sleek, shiny red surface of the car and asks, “What kind of car ya’ got there, sonny?”
The young man replies, “A Ferrari 360 Spider. They cost over a quarter of a million dollars!”
“That’s a lot of money,” says the old man, shocked. “Why does it cost so much?”
“Because this car can do over 200 miles an hour!” states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, “Can I take a look inside?”
“Sure,” replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right!” Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 220 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!
He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly something flashes past him! “What the hell was that?!” the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him! Zip! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it almost looked like the old man on the moped!
“Couldn’t be,” thinks the guy. “How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?!” Again, he sees a fast approaching dot in his rear view mirror! Bam! The moped plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and it IS the old man!!!
He runs up to the old man and says, “Tell me how that thing could possibly be faster than my Ferrari!”
The old man looks up and replies, “OK…, but first, unhook my braces from your side-view mirror, will ya?”
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Carrots are good for your eyes.
But, wine can double your vision.
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During a rehearsal, conductor Sir Thomas Beecham, who died 40 years ago, thought that his female soloist was playing less than adequately on her fine Italian cello. He stopped the orchestra and declared: “Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands, and all you can do is scratch it!”
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Guests get really embarrassed when they visit my house and my dog sniffs at their crotch.
Especially as my dog is a chihuahua and I have to lift it up.
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Brilliant! 
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How great can they be to be USA.
and then invent USB.
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