Officer Crabtree
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I have a pet hen that can count her own eggs.
She’s a mathemachicken…
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That is reaching new heights.!!
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CAUTION:IF YOU MARRY A SCOTTISH GIRL!! 
Three friends married women from different parts of the world…
The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. …
The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Scotland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates…
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I am not showing that to my own wife, a daughter of Glasgow. I’ve just about got her where I want her these days. At least when she lets me in.
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You married well. And bravely, for an Englishman ; )
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@Beachcomber you need to pace yourself
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I am - there are loads more. I’m sorry about that.
with the rising popularity of self-driving vehicles, it is only a matter of time before there is a country and western song about how his truck left a man.
Thinking about opening a mediocre jokes thread 
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Then this thread would get closed after two months through non-use.
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I’m sure the forum could collectively manage one really funny joke every two months! I take your point though.
Totally understand. I’m married to a Fifer.
steve
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Really?
Yeah, it’s called irony. The joke doesn’t work without it.
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