Best jokes

16 Likes

There is an old limerick:
There’s a wonderful family called Stein
There’s Gert and there’s EP and there’s Ein
Gert’s poems are bunk
Ep’s statues are junk
And nobody understands Ein.

5 Likes

Another limerick

There was an old man from Cosham
Who took out his balls to wash’em
His wife said ‘Jack if you won’t put them back
I’ll tread on the buggers and squash’em’

3 Likes

There was an old lady in Rhyde
Who ate some green apples and died
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her insides

5 Likes

There was a young barmaid from Sale
Who’s tattoos on her chest priced the ale
And on her behind
Just for the blind
Were the prices again but in braille

5 Likes

A lesbian one night in Khartoum
Took a prostitute back to her room
But they sat up all night
Discussing their plight
Of who should do what and to whom

3 Likes

There was a young lady of Kent,
Whose nose was most awfully bent.
She followed her nose,
One day, I suppose,
And no one knows which way she went.

4 Likes

There once was a boy from Brazil,
Who eat a gunpowder pill,
His heart retired,
His bum back fired,
And his pr…k shot over the hill.

2 Likes

Best Jokes seems to have morphed into dull limericks. Shame.

2 Likes

Nope, don’t get that one…

17 Likes

A house hold naim on the forum
He complained of limerick boredom
But from those who offended
No malice was intended
All immediately ceased to share 'um

:roll_eyes::no_mouth:

15 Likes

There was a young lady from Cheltenham,
Whose limericks never rhymed properly,
They were always too short as well.

12 Likes

There was a young girl from Nantucket…

Thought I should flip it with something highbrow.

5 Likes

With many vibrations to tame,
I bought a full stack of Fraim,
But now I’m a debtor,
The bank sent me a letter,
I’m banned from buying more Naim.

10 Likes

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.

Had an early dinner in a nice restaurant, then onto a couple of bars for a few drinks. He’s a lovely guy, really into quietly keeping nasties away from innocent people, works part time in web design…

10 Likes

I always wondered what my parents did to entertain themselves in the evenings before the advent of multiple TV channels, internet, music streaming etc…

I asked my 22 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either…

13 Likes

So this gorgeous lady keeps asking me to take her out to dinner…
I finally said quite firmly ‘ I don’t date married women!!!’. She said ‘But I’m your wife!!!’, to which I replied ‘ Sorry, it would be unfair to make exceptions’…

6 Likes

My favourite:

While Titian was mixing rose madder
His model ascended a ladder.
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition
So he climbed up the ladder and had her.

5 Likes

The inventor of cut, copy and paste has died, The inventor of cut, copy and paste has died,The inventor of cut, copy and paste has died,The inventor of cut, copy and paste has died,

10 Likes