Love the flagged joke. Sensitive souls shaking with fear?
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Went into HMV to get some albums by Lou Rawls, but they had all sold out.
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…nor any sheet music?
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I thought it was very funny, didn’t offend this Australian.
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At midday yesterday, I finally plucked up the courage to call Gamblers Anonymous. They told me to call back at 20/1.
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Due to a surge in panic buying, Lidl management confirmed today that they are going to introduce a new, drastic measure in their stores. They’re going to open a second till.
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Hope no one will be offended; here’s something from the New York Times, and my local military association.
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Ran out of toilet roll, so reduced to wiping my bum with lettuce leaves. I fear that’s just the tip of the iceberg…
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That’s very funny. 
And old…
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“SCOTLAND ANNOUNCES BAN ON GATHERINGS OF MORE THAN 500 PEOPLE”
Well at least the Partick Thistle game won’t be affected.
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Brilliant
Two goldfish go into a bar. The barman asks “Why the long faeces?”
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I see the Germans are so worried about the Corona virus they are putting their towels on the hospital beds 
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Well only if you’ve heard it before. 
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