I heard it from India as well!
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This ones still at the wheel 
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I used to be exposed to a lot of this stuff when I worked in senior marketing positions. Mainly from males and females trying to work their way up who were perhaps 10 years younger than me. Many a Bingo meeting.
My wife has a meeting next week with the prospective buyers of the firm she works for. I am going to compile some of the best of this thread for her to take into the meeting. As she want’s to be made redundant some of these might do the trick. I suppose the danger is they might promote her.
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Slightly off topic but quite a few years back myself and a colleague were sent on a 2 day Diversity conference. On the morning of the 2nd day this guy came to give us some hints on interviewing when he suddenly announced that “you should never mention sex as some ethnic minority groups might take offence”, we all looked at each other as much as to say “was anyone going to?!” when this lady stood up and said “ I find what you’ve just said as very patronising, I’m Indian and I love having sex”, the whole place fell into hysterics!
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Well, that covered off the question about ‘outside interests’ too 
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A few years ago, my missus started attending conferences connected with her business.
Time after time, she reported that they were a complete waste of time, as the levels of corporate speak in use meant that no one had a clue as to what point was being made.
I devised a bullsh*t bingo card for her to take along to the next meeting, with sufficient copies to distribute among her friends, who all took it onboard, and had a jolly afternoon, ending with one of the group getting to her feet and shouting “Bingo!”
Needless to say, they were bit more selective over which future conferences they would attend.
Job done!
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Dave, I wanted to personally thank you for reaching out and sharing this valuable piece of information. Your tireless effort to reach out and touch base with not only your local community but also willing to cross international borders is commendable.
Thank you for stepping up and touching base with the rest of us. It is men and women like yourself who take action that add value not only to the company but to the welfare of the community and society at large.
With your selfless action we have been able to disband the Taskforce. This alone deserves our heartfelt and eternal gratitude for finding ways to cut costs and enhancing profits.
You certainly understand the most important reason we are here: “We all have a fiduciary responsibility to our shareholders”
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So that’s a win-win for all our stakeholders.
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Let me push back on all of the above.
G
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Have you had enough of all the mumbo-jumbo?
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To better serve our customers we need a fungible talent pool
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Nice one. Fungible seems to come from the States.
Let’s spit-ball that one.
G
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Ah, that’s a good question. Let’s explore the issues around this topic. Government will soon be signposting the funding routes for future research.
Let us now bow down to HR-speak:
‘As you work through the CBT (computer based training) modules you will find a breadcrumb trail, which will lead you to your destination.’
Just about summed up my experiences with HR, in that they had to copy a German fairy tale (H&G) to explain something
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I think you have a new career developing here……get in before someone else debunks the “bull”
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Do I detect seagull management ? Flies in, makes a lot of noise, flies off leaving a pile of bird poo behind it .
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One I heard was, “The launch vehicle exhibited a non-optimal trajectory”
Translation, “Er, we’ve just dumped your 200 million dollar satellite into a non-recoverable orbit. Sorry.”
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But with the greatest respect, Nigel………….
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I have spent this evening packing my system away for 6 months pending a house move and before starting an extension on our new home…
Does this mean I’m taking a Naim ‘capability holiday’?
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