I will get a shot of my hand behind her tonight. Mrs Pete’s not scared of them and will move her into the garden so it won’t not get hurt and I won’t won’t get scared.
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Sheesh, just swipe it away with your hand man!
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I’d be happy to use your hand.
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And that kids was the last we heard of…No wait! There’s something moving. There’s somebody emerging from the web. Hooray! It’s our intrepid hero Pete with his trusty companion Diesel at his side. And held aloft skewered on his golden paintbrush is The Photograph.
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Surely DLR is permitted following the post oysterian rules? Holborn.
Good morning, sorry the wind had blown her web down yesterday and she wasn’t there last night. It’s a pity I’ve grown so attached to her (not)
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You do know she is hiding under the toilet seat, don’t you?
Waiting to strike…
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No she would had to come through the door and I would have noticed her. Also she’s a little too big to hide anywhere.
Okay…but I bet that for the next couple of days, you’ll lift the seat before sittlng down to read the morning paper… 
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I read that those spiders liked under the toilet seat too…
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I read they like to cuddle up in warm beds…but that might be arachnophobia conjecture.
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Good thing it’s only 8.30am here I’ve got all day to get your post out of my head. 
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so about the time you would normally take the morning paper to read in the…?
She’s waiting…
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And then there was the story of the couple who had bought a Yucca plant from a well known UK retail store only to have it turn up its roots after a week at home.
They returned it to the shop. Couple of days later there’s a knock on the door. The representative from the store explained that the reason the Yucca had died was because there was a Tarantula’s nest in the roots, and they’d found a dead Tarantula in it. the rep then introduced their colleague, who was an “arachnid specialist”. He explained that nests normally have two adult spiders, but they’d only found one…“Could he have a look around the house, please”
He found it…alive, well and snuggly in the duvet!
Good story anyway…
But an even better story is a true one. Some thirty years ago, my wife & I were on holiday in the Ardeche region of southern France. We had a gite, and one morning I awoke, and pottered off into the kitchen to make tea, leaving my wife in bed. I walked back into the room, stopped dead, and said “Sue, don’t look up, get out of bed now. No, don’t reach for your dressing gown, and just come over here.”
She had no clothes on, but I was keeping my eyes on the thing on the wall! About 4-5 feet above her head, on the wall, was the biggest damn spider I’d ever seen. It was the size on my hand. Fortunately there was a door from the bedroom onto the terrace, so we were able to encourage it to leave, with the aid of a broom.
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Don’t worry, the intrepid hero Pete and his trusty companion Diesel will save the day.
Copyright. Igahman
I’ve just received and spent the advance on the publication of the Adventures of Pete and Diesel and the Spider beneath the stairs. 
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I should be getting royalties.
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Playing the old oyster card eh? 40 years or so ago it would have been a good choice of station for the old Kingsway Hall (I have several recordings with the ambience including passing tube trains!). But your attempt to take a shortcut to Morningtin Crescent has backfired on you: Caledonian Road.
Most likely it will have inhabited something in the pantry…
Funny you say that, I’ve just found her again. I don’t really mind her been there they do eat a lot of insects and bugs. She’s probably already eaten her husband. I just don’t want her constructing her very large, thick and sticky web where I walk. The other thing I’m not real keen on is I don’t want a million tiny baby large (soon to be large giant) spiders run through the house. 
Yes, the babies will be a problem 
. We have a similar issue with fly maggots in the rubbish at this time of year 