Do the speakers light up?.
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When did you last go to the theatre?
why do you have a big pile of old x-box’s…someone asked that once
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Slightly off-topic but my own experience is that almost all of our friends and relatives are entirely uninterested in my hifi equipment and never look at or mention it.
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Why so many boxes just to play a record?
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Have you had a recent hearing test ?
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While you were making that lovely cup of tea little Johnny had a great time prodding those shiny silver dome shaped things on those cabinets, I suppose they’ll pop out again when you play some more music?
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If I connect my smartphone on your system, will it load ?
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My system is in my phone and it’s got more bass than that.
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You really need all this to listen to music ??? We’re much smaller now !
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When you die, your grieving spouse will sell all those fancy boxes, for the price you told her you had paid for them…
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I think anyone who considers themselves an audiophile is incredibly dull and would far rather drone on about hifi than listen to music. What do you think?
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Expensive cables make no difference.
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Viewing massed black boxes feeding a pair of floorstanders: “Wow, I didn’t realise anyone actually used those antiques. It doesn’t sound too bad actually, does it - nearly as good as Sonos. I suppose the duplicates are backups for when they die?”
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“Alexa, play Number One…” Pause. “Oh! You must be really pissed that it doesn’t work with Alexa! Modern stuff is so much better than this bulky old stuff, isn’t it?”
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When I bricked your window I didn’t think he said you were an audiophile.
Oops bit dark eh. 
My wife mentioned our system at her work a couple of years ago. The response was:
" Hi Fi, What’s a Hi Fi"
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Why isn’t there any flashing lights
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Alan Parsons said “Audiophiles don’t use their equipment to listen to music. Audiophiles use your music to listen to their equipment"
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And he’s probably right. 
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