Many decades ago, family holiday somewhere on the other side of the channel. Lunchtime in a restaurant. Sister (I think aged around 5-7) asked for fish. The waiter, with great ceremony, took Dad over to a tank full of trout - yep, he had to choose which trout to execute!
The deed was done and sometime later the cooked (whole) trout was brought out and placed in front of Sis, and then carefully dissected by the waiter……
At which point, she threw up!
My daughter was just telling me about a friend who works as a waitress.
Whilst at a table she felt a sneeze coming on so tried to hold it in while politely turning around from the customers, to face away from the table.
The effort required to hold in the sneeze however was so great that she could not hold in the huge fart that came out the other end as a result!
Farta?
Orange Farta !!
I get that after drinking too much cider
I just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well.
I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
The difference between in-laws and out-laws?
Out-laws are wanted.
The question is, do Androids dream of the electric ones?
Yeah, but the song is a cracker!
Which song? 
Ballad of John & Yoko I assume.
Surely Give Peace A Chance?? 
I think the lyrics of the Ballad are more appropriate to the picture than those in Peace.
‘Staying in the Amsterdam Hilton……..’
Oh yeah that’s just HILARIOUS! 
“The way this is going, they’re going to crucify me.”
