Except it’s not. Try this:
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An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After a while, he finds himself in a very high class neighbourhood…..big, stately residences… no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all… NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. He really, has to go, after all those Guinness’s.
He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.
As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, “I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know.”
“I’m very sorry, officer,” replies the American, “but I really, HAVE TO GO, and I just can’t find a public restroom.”
“Ah, yes,” said the bobby…”Just follow me”.
He leads him to a back “delivery alley”, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.
“In there,” points the bobby. “Whiz away sir, anywhere you want.”
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the cop’s blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.
As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby,”That was really decent of you… is that what you call ‘English Hospitality’?”
“No, sir” replies the bobby, “that is what we call the French Embassy.”
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Excellent! Old NZ plates there.
True Story.
I worked in Cornwall Park for 20 years. Left in 2015. I can’t remember the year but it was possibly 20 odd years ago when one day I was plodding along spraying glyphosate from a 15 litre backpack sprayer. I had all the signage placed by 6.00am and it was now from memory around 9.00am. As I approached the Rangitoto steps I saw an elderly man sitting on one of the park bench seats there so I ceased spraying thinking I’ll womble on past and continue spraying upwind of him.
As I walk past he comments in a very cultured old Remuera accent…” I say!…” So I stop as he obviously has something to say to me…he says…”I think it’s wonderful you people use so many signs these days. I was a gynaecologist for over 40 years and in those days there was no signage. Pregnant women more than anyone need to be made aware of these things…” So as I needed to keep spraying before the wind got up I interrupted and commented with sincere interest…” A gynaecologist for over 40 years? Geez you must have had some hairy moments!” As I walked off it was clear by his reaction he understood my comment and he had no sense of humour.
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A study has revealed that the kind of face that a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with masculine and rugged faces. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
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Shot my first turkey yesterday!
Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section.
It was awesome! Gettin’ old is so much fun…
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The shortest joke in history.
2026 F1
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And it has already taken too long..
That’s not the moon, I think it’s Uranus
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