Despite having arrested two men for questioning, Cheltenham Police have said they “still have nothing to go on”.
I’m childishly proud of this.
Making a toilet out of solid gold, that really took the pee! : /
I wish I’d said that.
“You will, Andrew, you will”, I hear you say!
“I’ve got a golden toilet”
G
There is a big hole in the road in Cheltenham; the police are looking into it … boom boom
My Aunt used to say “Forty is the new thirty”.
A great comfort as one moves into middle age, but she’s now banned from driving.
There was a good Twitter response to this joke.
“Actually the police use the toilet facilities in the police station and as the burglary was away from police establishments they still have the same number of facilities as before this burglary was committed. There is no link between the theft and available toilet facilities for investigating officers and constabulary.”
Had it been the hole in the road / police are looking into it joke, it would indeed have been satisfactorily joyous & childish. 
Edit: The response is also a joke, not a snotty dig at the original joke. smile smile etc. 
…don’t you just love the THIS WAY UP arrow. Or do you think, it was just wishful thinking on the part of the occupant, that he might be heading up towards…?
Surely not …
I’d bury him upside down just to confuse the fat fcker
VERY, VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He’s still paying off his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian!
I read that and thought, poor fellow, how unreasonable. However, I wondered why you’d posted it on the ‘Best Jokes’ thread. Then I read it again
“I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which would you like first?”
“I’ll have the good news first”
“You have 24 hours to live”
“That’s the good news?! What’s the bad news?”
“I should have told you yesterday “
“I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which would you like first?”
“I’ll have the bad news first”
“Well I’m afraid we amputated the wrong leg, so we had to go ahead and remove the other one anyway’’
“What’s the good news?”
“Well the chap in the next bed is interested in buying your slippers“