I have been panic buying alcoholic for weeks now, the kids have no bog roll, but they are too drunk now to care
No bog roll here but managed to get half a dozen vindaloos and an arctic roll.
Looks more like the full moon
My wife is very upset with me. She found some letters I’d been hiding. She says she feels betrayed and has lost all trust in me.
I can’t say I blame her; I feel so ashamed…
I wouldn’t be surprised if she never plays Scrabble with me again.
Would that spell disaster?
Cop; I’m writing you a ticket for driving in the transit lane alone.
Me; you’re going to feel pretty stupid when you look in the trunk.
A man doesn’t walk into a pub …
that’s no joke
Someone’s lion.
G
The Red Lion
Bloke goes into a pub with a giraffe.
Pint of bitter and large whiskey for the giraffe he asks
After a few more rounds the Giraffe collapses on the floor.
Hey, you cant leave that lyin’ there, says the barman
Bloke replies, It’s not a lion it’s a giraffe!