Best jokes

She happens to be Chinese. I suggested whe could try a 69 but she replied
“dont think I’m gonna start cooking this time of night!”

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Thanks Lucy Jennings on Gardening for Beginners

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I guess hes delivering the Bear necessities?

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Does Andy Williams live here?

A nun is being given driving lessons by the Mother Superior.
As shes driving along a massive ball of fire erupts from the road ahead from which the Devil appears.
“Dont fear my child, do an emergency stop!” Instructs Mother Superior
The Nun applies progressive braking whilst increasing her grip on the wheel, depresses the clutch, applies the handbrake, puts gear in neutral and checks mirrors and blind spots.
“Perfect! Says Mother Superior, " Now show the Devil your cross”
Nun winds down the window raises her middle finger and shouts
"Get out of the road you f@ckin’ idiot!

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Pinching that one. :joy: :joy:

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It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local businesses as a result of COVID-19. A local bra manufacturer has gone bust, a submarine company has gone under, a manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers and a company supplying paper for origami enthusiasts has folded. Local strip club has gone tits up,Interflora is pruning its business and Dyno-rod has gone down the drain. The saddest one though is the ice cream van man found dead covered in nuts and raspberry sauce. He coulnd’t take it any more and topped himself.

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Stealing that one too! :joy: :joy:

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From a couple of work colleagues…

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Smiler from ‘On the Buses’

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Blakey…

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Pith off! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Apologies if this has already been posted - can’t keep up these days! Yet another pinched from the ProAc FB page.

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Thanks to science humour on another social platform.

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I named my coffee table Vincent.

It has a bit of veneer missing.

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I was watching this TV program now…

They say some foreigners are being discriminated in China as carriers of the Wuhan virus.

Apparently they have a comic strip on this too.

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry

It must be tough for highwaymen in lockdown - wonder how they’re holding up?

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