Best jokes

What time does Sean Connery play his favourite racket sport…???

Ten-ish…

I’ll get my coat…:joy::joy:

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Dont know what came over me this morning.
Missus came into the lounge carrying my coat.
I couldn’t control myself, I lept off the sofa, chased myself around in circles, wiped my bum on the carpet, banged my head on the front door and pissed in the hallway.
:mask:

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Echoing current events…

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Today I saw a group of those ‘Covidiots’ in town. There they were, five of them, not shopping or exercising, just standing there laughing and joking together, clearly flouting the 2 metre rule.

So I went up to them and told them off.

That’s when they arrested me.

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Unfortunately, tomorrow’s outing for the local self-harm therapy group is now fully booked.

I bet those who didn’t get tickets are kicking themselves.

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Stardate 04-13-20:20

Starship Corona Voyager

Location : 3rd rock from the Sol, Milky way

Captain’s log…

saw a fresh looking newspaper this morning…
went up to it …all happy … :grinning:
found it was an old newspaper that had maintained itself… :expressionless:

end log…

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15867162938316308398436538064689

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Hi mpw -

Seeing the picture of the shop in the image reminded me of this, a clip from a BBC comedy show in the early 1980s called Not The Nine O’clock News, which produced some wonderful sketches - many accessible from YouTube.

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steve

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I’ve always thought strange that Fosters is still around in the UK. It hasn’t been drunk here for 20 years. Horrible stuff.

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It’s owned by ABinBev these days, but by Heineken in Europe. Still very popular here in the UK - in fact, Blighty is Fosters’ biggest market.

It’s disappeared here altogether.

It isn’t Fosters as you know it. The brand name is owned by AB InBev & brewed under licence in different countries. UK is the biggest market & is brewed by Heineken in Manchester.
Agreed it’s ‘orrible stuff, even the Auz brew was not much different. Not too fussed about massed produced lager, only the local breweries around central Europe do it well. I’m a died in the mash southern uk bitter drinker, nothing finer.

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