Can cold water really clean dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get 'em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal”
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”
Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get em. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear 'nother word about it!”
Later that afternoon, as John was on his way leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. John yelled, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted …
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"COLDWATER! GO LAY DOWN!!..
CAR PUNS – whilst searching for something online to do with cars, I found these puns and thought it only right that I should share them with you. WARNING: the quality varies.
Part 1: 1-13
- What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?
A Ford Siesta. - What do you call a Mexican who has mislaid his car?
Carlos. - When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway. - What kind of car does Yoda drive?
A toyoda - What kind of cars do cooks drive?
Chef-rolets. - Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?
Taxi drivers. - What kind of car does a snake drive?
An Ana-Honda. - Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home. - How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards. - What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck. - What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks. - Which snakes are found on cars?
Windshield vipers. - A man drove his expensive car into a tree…
….and found out how the Mercedes bends
Not a joke but keep watching this clip till the end - amazing !!!
I never judge people on the colour of their skin, which is why so many of my patients died of jaundice.
I’m aching just watching that, thank you you’ve made my day.
Three Irishmen are on their way home after a wild night in Dublin. Somehow they end up on the train tracks. The first guy spots a light in the distance.
‘‘Ah be Jeez’’ he says, ‘‘would you look at that. This must be the longest staircase in the World’’
The second replies ‘‘Ne’er mind dat. Dis must be the da coldest handrail in da World’’
The third says ‘‘Can you both stop moaning. I can hear the lift coming!’’
RE: Not a joke but keep watching this clip till the end - amazing !!!
Holy human inchworms, Batman!
The trend for inflatable footwear in the Netherlands has caused some deaths…
people popping their clogs all over the place.
U2’s ‘The Joshua Tree’ was a follow-up to their albums ‘The Joshua One’ and ‘The Joshua Two’.
I thought this was good, from the FB Tim Vine Joke Appreciation Group. You have to be from the UK and be of a certain age to get the cultural reference though.
I did like the phrase “look at what you could have won” in this programme for non-winners. Delightfully cruel!
I am from the UK and old, but I don’t get the “cultural” references. Was Bullseye a TV program? Did it involve darts?
Double top!
G
@Dozey - I think the cultural bit refers to the several games shows on TV in the 1970s and in to the 1980s which often had (cheap) speedboats and alike as star prizes. TV seemed to portray such prizes as things people aspired to. AFAIK, no cash alternatives were ever offered. The above picture paints a thousand words around the utility of such prizes!
Sale of the Century was another game show. IIRC, there was a cap (not just driven by programme budgets) on the value of the prizes which could be offered, which meant either a base level Mini or something like a Skoda if the SP was a car.
Here’s an example of Jim Bowen presenting Bullseye and what went on:
If I won a Naiad I wouldn’t leave it on the street
Thanks HappyListener. That clears it up. I spent several years without a television.
Two teams one from Ireland the other from England had a race to see who could reach the top of mount Everest first.The Irish team gave up because they ran out of scaffolding.
So soon?