My Google account shows that I’m 50/50 on looking at both porn and Brexit.
Not sure now as I’m worried that whilst watching news night I’m wxxking and up for a debate when the porn is on.
What’s the difference between a tramp and an MP?
One sits about on a bench all day, usually falling asleep, enjoys long liquid lunches and contributes nothing to society. The other’s a tramp.
4 Likes
As has been said, elsewhere, “Where’s Guy Fawkes, when you need him most?”
4 Likes
Guy Fawkes? The only person ever to enter the Palace of Westminster with a clear objective and actually carry it out.
4 Likes
… err um ?? … well nearly, carried it out that is.
1 Like
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”.
John came fifth and won a toaster.
17 Likes
There are two types of people in this world:
- Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
7 Likes
22 Likes
21 Likes
Why do astronomers keep rump steaks in their bathrooms?
For meatier showers.
15 Likes
fantastic!
My extra-sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other toothpastes.
15 Likes
Here’s the thing about cliff hangers…
9 Likes
I was asked to re-turf a field for an English Civil War re-enactment.
I thought: sod that for a game of soldiers.
15 Likes
I bought a dog from a blacksmith, and took it home. My wife said, how do you know it was from a blacksmith. Because as soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.
10 Likes
Love this…
BREAKING NEWS:
For the first time in history, the UK will see the end of May before the end of April.
21 Likes
My optometrist thinks my eyes will probably improve. Unfortunately, my pessometrist thinks they’ll get worse.
10 Likes