Thats the plan
Just rang B&Q and asked how big is the queue; they said the same size as the B.
I went to the zoo and couldn’t work out why there was a nothing but a baguette in the middle of one enclosure, in another enclosure there was nothing but a wholemeal loaf, and in yet another enclosure nothing but a thickly sliced white bloomer.
Eventually I asked a zoo keeper who told me they are all bread in captivity.
I just got home and there was a voicemail on my phone from a Johann Sebastian. Should I call him Bach???
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no bell prize.
Two termites walk in to a bar, one asks “Is the bar tender here?”
As my wife and I headed off on a romantic holiday we talked about what kinky things we’d like to do to each other.
She said, “I’ve always wanted to be handcuffed.”
So I planted a kilo of coke in her suitcase.
Bloke walks into a pet shop and says ‘I need some wasps’. Pet Shop owner says sling yer 'ook sonny, that’s a crap old joke, I’ve heard it a million times. Ok says the punter, how about some bees - I need a dozen… Shop owner carefully counts out 12, then adds another and says “There yer go mate - that last one’s a freebee.”
The Tiger Lilies are back on form …
I was in this hotel in paris last week.i had this girl banging on my door
All night. I had to get up to let her out.
Please do, Brian. Otherwise I just end up having to move your posts into the relevant thread. Thanks.
I bumped into the model alexa Chung. If only i was 3 months younger
Two opticians got married.
The vicar said, “Do you take this woman for better or worse? Better, or worse? Better, or worse?”
Posted to push this back up the recent topics list. Due to the merge the server believes the last post was 4 days ago.
Hi Mike,
I own a vizsla and I can tell you, they really are smarter than humans!! A brill joke for me 
They sure are, a colleague has one used in missing person searches, they are amazing
I am sure they are superb at finding missing persons - their sense of smell is really unbelievable. Our guy easily smells other dogs / humans at 200 - 300 metres.
Anyway, we digress from the joke thread, so here is one…
Audiophile 1:- Did you hear the sad news about John, he died of a sudden illness.
Audiophile 2:- That’s so sad, what did he have?
Audiophile 1:- NDX2, NAC282, SuperCap, NAP250, Spendor A4, Chord interconnects……