And the darker one of two crows pecking at the body of a recently deceased clown.
One asks:
“Does this taste funny to you?”
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…and the other crow replied, “no it tastes of stale greasy burgers!”
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Neville the forgetful cannibal was always late for the dinner party.
He was given the cold shoulder, then the elbow.
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Cannibal and his son walking along the beach see a beautiful girl lying sunbathing in the nude
Son says excitedly ‘Dad, dad look at her, she’s gorgeous. Can we eat her?’
Dad replies ‘I’ve got a better idea son, let’s take her home and eat your mother.’
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Saw a wonderful poster advert some years ago advertising Burger King.
" Eat like a King, not like a clown!"
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A bit like the van we saw on the Golden Mile in Leicester, many years ago
“ Patel & Singh, Builders
You’ve tried the cowboys, now try the Indians”
Cracking…There are pictures of their van on t’internet.
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Yes like the Advert for a Furniture Retailer in the US-Sofa King
" Our prices are Sofa King Low"
D41
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I went to see Placebo by mistake.
I actually thought that they were The Cure.
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Once upon a time there was a handsome prince and a beautiful princess.
The handsome prince said to the beautiful princess “Will you marry me?”
The beautiful princess replied “No”…and the handsome prince lived happily ever after.
The end.
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That is sooo naughty, but so true, and made my day👍
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I can I got a knee in the side of the head as a reward. 
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All the following are from a Primary school kids test on the Bible.All as written without any correction for grammar or spelling.
1.Guiness is the first book in the bible
2.Noah’s wife was Joan of Arc who helped him get the animals into pears.
3.Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt in the day and a ball of fire at night
.4.The Jews were special people who had problems with the genitals.
5.Sampson was a strongman who was led astray by a Jezabel called Delilah.
6.When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus she sang the Magna Carter.
7.Seventh commandment is don’t admit adultery.
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That’s pretty scary.
I’ve just opened a packet of Walkers Salt & Vinegar. Their staff might not be, but the crisps in the packet are social distancing.
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An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor, and a scientist walk into a bar…
Just kidding.
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