My wife was going to the hairdresser’s. As she was leaving, she asked me what cut I thought would make her look most attractive.
Apparently “a power cut” wasn’t the right answer.
17 Likes
Why are ancient history lecturers boring?
They tend to Babylon.
4 Likes
I’ve just read that taking your bike to work every day is good for the environment, so I thought, bugger it, why not - it’s not like I’m using the roof rack for anything else.
22 Likes
I’m sure that even winky will have smiled at that one !
1 Like
The time has clearly come for the Jokes and Brain Teasers threads to combine to see who can tell a classic joke so badly that it takes several of us to work out what was intended.
“My wife’s gone to Jamaica.”
“Of her own accord?”
Mark
5 Likes
My grandson said he was impressed that, after nearly 60 years of marriage, I still called my missus “love”, “darling” or “sweetheart”.
I hadn’t the heart to tell him I couldn’t remember her name.
11 Likes
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Beats me.
6 Likes
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer
What you you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
Still no eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitalia?
Still no f*c@ing eye deer.
7 Likes
My missus got out of the shower this morning and stood in front of the mirror.
Look at me, she said, my hair is going grey…
Yup, I replied.
My face is wrinkly…
It is.
My boobs are drooping…
They are
And my belly and bum are sagging…
Yup
Thanks for nothing, can’t you think of something nice to say to me?
Apparantly “at least you don’t need glasses” doesn’t count as nice…
1 Like
My dog kept chasing people riding a bike.
It got so bad that I had to take the bike off him.
5 Likes
1 Like
And possibly - The Claustrophobia AGM?
1 Like
I added this picture to the old forum.
But I think the picture is so good,so it deserves a place also on the new forum.
Many of us probably recognize themselves,when they look at the picture 
.
/Peder🙂
4 Likes
My wife was going to the hairdresser’s. As she was leaving, she asked me what cut I thought would make her look most attractive.
Apparently “a power cut” wasn’t the right answer.
1 Like
Groundhog
Groundhog
2 Likes
I Got You Babe…
Senility.
My gambling addiction is getting worse. I bet you £6,041.72 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
2 Likes