Another from the Tiger Lilies …
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I just thanked a French guy to death. It was a merci killing.
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The bloke that stole my personal diaries has died intestate.
My thoughts are with his family.
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The wife’s asked if she could have a bit of peace and quiet while she cooks the breakfast. So I’ve taken the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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‘mornin’ Tony, your jokes never fail to make us both smile.
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Nineteen, breathtaking and easily spread.
That’s the punchline, write your own joke.
Doing that clumsy pants-round-ankles shuffle cos I ran out of toilet paper.
Almost at Tesco now…
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Let’s try…
I met a beautiful young girl at the club last night
She was nineteenth and breathtaking with a wild hair style
She said my name Katherine…but my friends call me Marge…
Why’s that I asked…
Because I have a blue beehive she said
Nineteen, breathtaking and easily spread.
That’s the punchline, write your own joke.
The real joke is:
I like my girlfriends the same as I like my Coronaviruses:
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Would you believe a cordless drill fell on my head today.
I was sitting there minding my own business then next thing I knew……“Bosch”
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If it sounded interesting, I’d ask you to explain it…
What a con this evaporated milk is, i bought a can from the super market and when i got home it was still full.
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Not at all interesting, just a rather pathetic joke.
Simon and Garfunkel’s most famous song had a shorter edit for single release - it was Abridged Over Troubled Water.
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