Another from the Tiger Lilies …
I just thanked a French guy to death. It was a merci killing.
The bloke that stole my personal diaries has died intestate.
My thoughts are with his family.
The wife’s asked if she could have a bit of peace and quiet while she cooks the breakfast. So I’ve taken the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
‘mornin’ Tony, your jokes never fail to make us both smile.
Nineteen, breathtaking and easily spread.
That’s the punchline, write your own joke.
Doing that clumsy pants-round-ankles shuffle cos I ran out of toilet paper.
Almost at Tesco now…
Let’s try…
I met a beautiful young girl at the club last night
She was nineteenth and breathtaking with a wild hair style
She said my name Katherine…but my friends call me Marge…
Why’s that I asked…
Because I have a blue beehive she said
Nineteen, breathtaking and easily spread.
That’s the punchline, write your own joke.
The real joke is:
I like my girlfriends the same as I like my Coronaviruses:
Would you believe a cordless drill fell on my head today.
I was sitting there minding my own business then next thing I knew……“Bosch”
If it sounded interesting, I’d ask you to explain it…
What a con this evaporated milk is, i bought a can from the super market and when i got home it was still full.
Not at all interesting, just a rather pathetic joke.
Simon and Garfunkel’s most famous song had a shorter edit for single release - it was Abridged Over Troubled Water.